My friend calls it being overstretched like taffy. I call it running a marathon in death valley. We don’t know why we do it sometimes…but, we just can’t stop. Every once in a while I get tired. This weekend, I realized… Damn, yo…I’m barely attached to the planet… So, I had to keep it extra simple this weekend.
I am in the midst of yet…another transformation. Here’s the thing about being in search of yourself when there’s no boundaries… YOU’RE NEVER DONE! Am I complaining??? No, not really, it’s more of an observation. It’s kinda like flying or driving without a map, because well…there isn’t one. Your flight pattern is made up as you go along, as is your journey. Yeah, I just don’t think I’m going to be able to maintain all of my type-A attributes. I expect I’ll always be organizd and a multi-tasker. But, truth is, I don’t take much seriously anymore. And, that’s really good.
I used to be in such a rush to get… well…anywhere. And, now… I’m more like, yeah, it’ll be there when I get there, and if not, it wasn’t mine to begin with. I just think as we grow we have to know that certain things, people and experiences were meant to be ours. No one is going to come up and steal your dream-job, ultimate goal in life, or…anything. If it’s yours then it’s waiting for you. And, a lot of times, it’s actually coming to meet you somewhere in the middle. So…to me rushing, pushing and those kinds of forced things… They just mean fear, and insecurity. If someone could do a better job of being me, than me… well…shit, have at it! I’m tired anyway! LOL… But, alas, I’m afraid there will not be anyone coming to rescue me from my job of being me.
I do have to say that I feel like certain aspects of my life are coming to an end. It’s hard to put into words but, I think some things unresolved are going to find resolution by the end of this year. And, I have to say…there’s very little about my life that’s unresolved. I’m not into loose ends. See, I’m still a type-A. 😉 In order for us to expand and grow, it is necessary to make sure things about yourself or your relationships that needed tweaking got it. Otherwise, you really cannot move forward. People think they can move on with life without closing out old accounts, but, it’s not true. And, if you look closely, you can see a lot of people are carrying a heavy load of baggage on their backs. I’m sure unlike me, you’re polite enough to not say anything. Who knows, perhaps I won’t say anything, but, I won’t hang around in that type of situation either.
So, if you asked me if I had a “good weekend”, I think I’d have to pause and think. And, I’d probably answer…”Well, it was productive and it wasn’t bad, does that count?!” It’s kind of like knowing something of significance occured, but, not knowing what it was or what it means, until later. I’m pretty sure I had that kind of weekend. Something very significant happened, it had me rather perplexed and frustrated most of this weekend. And, I look forward to it making sense at a later date. Oh…and yes, I did drink a lot of wine over the weekend, and the Domestic Goddess decided today was a great date to make chocolate mousse pie! Yeah…I wonder about me sometimes too! LMAO But, one thing is for sure… I never find me boring!
Love Peace Happiness N One,
SunDeevah
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