You’ll be happy to know that I welcome losing as much as I relish winning. Didn’t know that about me, huh? The thing about winning and losing is…they really don’t exist. It’s all about having an experience, and if you include other people in your experience, you must accept whatever they choose. Once you’ve truly accepted that your vision of the outcome isn’t the vision…then you’ve awakened your eyes to see all the angles and probabilitites of a a given situation. And, that’s when you understand how adventurous life can really be, not to mention…fun!
I’ve lost at quite a few things recently. I’ve allowed quite a few people who insisted on winning self-imagined arguments regarding the probability of our future experiences together–win. And, what stands between us now is happiness and frustrated hope. Happiness, like love has many different expressions, and can be conjured singularly or collectively. Which is good because it means we are never truly in short supply unless we chose it. In fact, I’ve let quite a few people “win” recently, when it comes to their relationship with me. The thing with me is if I’m letting you “win” at your relationship with me–it really means I’m letting you go. Uh…yeah. That’s the common denominator of me. No common ground—you can have all the ground, I’m flying outta here.
As much as I am a Warrior-Spirit, and make no mistake, I am. I’m also a Spiritual-Monk. Part of me is VERY Zen, and you never really know when you’re going to meet her. I mean, I’ll make my case, I’ll state my peace, what I can do, what I cannot do. And, honestly…I’m a HUGE fan of collectively created happiness. But, here’s where I get caught—I assume that ALL people really want in life is to be happy. And, truthfully–that isn’t true. Sometimes all people really want, is to have their way, which isn’t the same thing. As a matter of fact, if a pereson has never known true happiness, it may be as foreign to them as moving to a foreign country, and as intimidating –not to mention threatening as to how they identify themselves. I mean, seriously, it could be like me moving to Egypt and deciding if I want to cover my head and learn arabic. It requires thought, decisions and finally action. If I want to have a true Egyptian experience, I’m not going to tour the Valley of the Kings…I’m going to move there and live amongst the people, I’m going to imerse myself into their culture until it becomes apart of me, and how identify myself. People hope for happiness, but, what they aren’t getting is your effort is required to obtain it. And, maybe some people are aware that they have to work at it, so…they’d rather hope it’ll be delivered to them instead. Yeah… never heard of that happening.
So what of hope??? We hope for a lot of things, don’t we??? But, here’s the thing, hope is the starting line, not the finish line. And, between those two points is you hauling ass on your chosen path. You’ll get tired, weary, depressed, you’ll question yourself, experience pain and wonder if its really worth it. That’s normal, we all have those experiences. The thing is, if you don’t finish… hope becomes a nag. Hope starts saying things in the silence like, “I thought you wanted to be happy?” Or, “You said that we could make a difference in people’s lives, what happened?” And, my favorite, “That’s it?! We’re not even half-way there and we’re stopping?! This is not what we talked about!” See, settling is not what hope thrives on. People do not set person goals to settle for less than what they hoped for. You know what I mean?
Breaking agreements with people is sad, its heartbreaking and we feel bad for it. But, it must pale in comparison to breaking an agreement with yourself. If you dreamed of something, you hoped for it, and the moment things got a bit tough you sat down and said, “Nah…too hard. I’ll just set up camp here…”what does that do to a person? Where do you put the disappointment of letting yourself down? How do you shut off your ears, when hope starts nagging? And, how many excuses will it take to appease it in that given moment? And, can you do the same thing tomorrow, the next day and the next for the rest of you life? Jeez…not me. My inner-me is way too loud. lol– I’d be crazy. And, as much as I’d like to think I’ve flirted with insanity in my lifetime…I cannot go there. So…yeah, I lost some people, and a few potentials, but…I’m keeping the promises I made to a very complicated, little girl I once was. I wrote my first goal list at 13. And, I’m very close to completing everything on it–it was a very ambitious goal list. So, don’t assume I’m lagging behind over here. Heehee. I started with hope on each goal, and when completed, each ends in happiness. That’s a very oversimplified example of life…or is it? Keep hope alive, by pursuing happiness!
Love Peace Happiness N One.
SunDeevah
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