It is the in the final stages for this super moon, this lion gate to be in it’s full power. I have had odd dreams for several days, and, my energy feels both strong, and tired all at the same time. Yet… I have never felt better. I have seen lots of postings of what this energy means, what it may bring, but, I admit– I have finished reading none of these postings. I simply cannot anymore. I am full. I have spent the majority of this lifetime listening the opines, experiences and teachings of others. I have been a wonderful seeker, a diligent student. I have practiced with discipline with courage, with a sense of adventure. And, I am final ready to say… No more. Thank you!
I have spent so many lifetimes in the act of remembering that I came from all that there is. I have spent lifetimes as student being taught, a student teaching, and a teacher teaching. I have felt the burden of responsibility to be something or someone to others leaving myself the leftovers of my very self. I have spent lifetimes denying myself the wonders of sexual intimacy, and in others the aggressive energies of war. I have played victim in some lifetimes, and predator in others. Seeking, seeking, always seeking. What have I been looking for– for thousands of years? The same as all before me, the same as those behind me. I’ve been looking for me in my highest form. I’ve been looking to allow myself to remember that I am that I am. I am that I am in human form, ready to be, live and love in the highest vibration possible. I seek no more. I simply am.
To few want to tell the seekers that at some point, the seeking must end. They don’t want to shove students who are no longer so out the door and say, “You’re ready! Now, get the hell out of here and go live!” And, I have a problem with that. I have a soul-stirring, righteous anger problem with that. And, while I acknowledge it is my problem, I also acknowledge that I am done with that game. I am done with the game of “follow the leader”. Who can lead you to yourself, but, you?! Who can live you, but, you?! Who can fulfill your highest vibration, fill the void of what is missing, but, you?! No one! Too few will say that and deal with the consequences of acting on the highest most loving vibration one I AM can express to another. “You are ready! Go live your wisdom!” What will happen to me if I let go of the students? What will happen to my business?? How will I support myself? It happens in all walks for life. From parents to therapist. From evangelist, to spouses. What will happen to me, if I let them go? What will happen?? I will tell you– You will be left with you. You, who must decide if you are worth it to stand alone in your I AM and remember– remember that you are everything you’ve ever needed, and the rest of us have been here serving one another as a reminder of that very thing. We have been each other’s guides, inspirations, teachers and students, so that we can overcome our very real fear of being alone with ourselves; our fear of consciously creating our life experience and owning all the consequences that come with it. “Yes, I did that, and when those things happened, I created those things too! I am happy about it!” Or, ” I am pissed as hell about it!” But, “Yes, that was me! I am that I am and I take full responsibility for my creations in this world!” And, so it is… whether we like it or not!
They say knowledge will separate you from others. I would like to say that it is choice that will separate you from others. I know everyone is on their own journey. But, the journey that I am most concerned with is my own. So, if that means we must separate– so be it. There will be no compromise in my love affair with myself and the life and I am creating to “belong” to someone, something, or some group. I AM more than I ever imagined, therefore I stretch my imaginings of myself to absorb these new discoveries of me.
Last year, after many years of conversing, teaching, talking and interjecting– my crew, the angels, the ascended masters that have been with me on the journey in this life time all went silent at once. My first reaction was abject fear! The silence was so loud, so frightening. I really thought I had been abandoned. I asked– “Why is everyone so quiet?!” And, the answer was, “We have no more to say. You are the master from this point onward, we are now here to observe and learn from you as you continue.” While I found this response even more scary… I knew it was true. I had no more to learn. And, I knew that all decisions had to be mine if I were going to be the master of me. I don’t even like being told what to do! I am an indigo! LOL But, I had gotten used to the guidance. But, when I decided to live my masterhood, I was saying, “No more guidance, please.” So, everyone took a step back. They do not huddle so close to me as before. They simple watch. Sometimes they laugh, sometimes they wonder, “What the hell will she do next?” And, I often wonder the same thing. And, the answer is… “Whatever I feel like doing! It’s my script, and I’m living the happy ending– that is truly no ending at all, but, a new beginning in the infinite experience that is my life!”
Admittedly, the territory here isn’t overly populated. There’s mostly spirits and entities here. There are a few divine humans around.. I feel them, even if I don’t know who they all are, yet. And, I have to tell you– this energy, this place, if one could call it such– it’s buoyant, its refined… it’s lovely. It is a different vantage point in which you view the world. For, no matter what you are told, or shown, you know that each God-self incarnated is responsible for what’s happening to it. If an individual chooses to act as a group, to create or destroy, the group is still filled with individuals saying “yes” to what’s happening. This is how this realm was designed. The answer is always Yes. Yes, you can destroy if that is what you choose. Yes, you can create if that is what you choose. Yes, you can experience happiness if that is what you choose. Yes, you can suffer if that is what you choose. Yes, yes, you can experience all forms of being human, in all forms if what you choose. But, at some point, you will remember, “You are the universe/god/great spirit/ creator/ Yahweh etc… experiencing itself.” And, then… you’ll either choose to do it again… or you’ll choose something else. This is where I live now. So, while I have my moments of being very human… I’m mostly looking at the world, seeing God all over the place choosing to experience life in whatever way works for their ultimately remembering of themselves. And, believe it or not… I fall in love with the planet a lot more easily and deeply from here, because I chose to fall in love with me, first!
Love Peace Happiness N One.