It’s a confusing world out there, so, please for the sake of your own sanity, your inner peace: know yourself. Know what you like, what you don’t like. Know what you’re passionate about, what annoys you, what makes you laugh–know yourself. Know what you’re capable of, what ticks you off, how far you’ll go, what you’re willing to do. Know how far is too far, and how much, is too much to ask for. But, most importantly know this: if you do not value yourself–no one ever will.
I’m spiraling up–and that means that things, relationships and habits that no longer serve me, must go. It doesn’t matter what it is, or who it is–if it doesn’t propel me forward, if it isn’t nurturing, if it takes more energy than it gives–it must go! No one is more sacred than my love for myself, no one will eat on my dime, while I starve. And, no one will feel wonderful at the expense of me feeling like shit. To say it is unbalanced energetically is being generous, to put it simply–its out of alignment, its selfish, and the roots are based in ego. Damn it–it’s just plain sick! If anyone must suffer for you to love them, or for you to feel good about yourself–you are misinformed, misaligned, and just plain missing it! You are asking someone to do for you, what you cannot do for yourself, make you happy. No one can fill the voids within you, for you. And, to ask them to is setting them up for failure. It’s setting them up to disappoint you, and for you to project your feelings of inadequacies onto them. Nothing good will come from this. If you cannot fix what ails your soul–then there’s no cure. Whatever your issues–they’re yours and yours to fix.
Relationships have been so mangled by us running away from ourselves. Every demon you do not heal within, will end up destroying something outside of yourself. Make no mistake, every pain would like to be healed. Every hurt would like to go away. And, every lie you’ve been told, or, have told, or believed, would love to be transmuted into truth. But, it will always require you to act. And, if you choose not to act, it will come out in anyway that will make the loudest noise, cause the biggest drama, or steal from you all that matters just to get your attention. If you carry around hurt, it will take everything from you until you pay attention and deal with it.
So, before you allow yourself to destroy a relationship either with someone you love, or worst yet, with yourself, ask this very important question: Is it worth it?
Does living a lie ever feel comfortable? Does the giant pink elephant every really go away? Do you ever get to truly relax in your life, if you’re constantly running away from an issue, a secret, an insecurity??? I will assume that if you are or have lived this kind of life you know the answer, even if you haven’t found the courage to live the answer. The answer: NO. Fear of being found out is a prison. Whether its you’re not as “good” as you pretend to be (and, by the way–its you judging you more than anyone), or, you aren’t as honorable, honest, or trustworthy as you pretend. Perhaps you don’t have as much money, but, you spend it like you do. Or, you’re self-destructive, you bite your nails…etc. Whatever you’re hiding will keep you there until you free yourself from it.
Let me be clear: I’m tired. I am tired of people asking me to go easy on them, when its clear that to do so enables them to never change. When you don’t grow, has it ever occurred to you that your lack of growth hurts others just as much as it hurts you?? If you cannot be honest with a person who’s been honest with you, what does that say about your relationship?? If you cannot treat someone well, who’s only been kind toward you–how can you possibly be hurt when they leave? If you secretly hate yourself, you can find nothing good to say about yourself, and always judging–you are cutting off LOVE! –Not just love from yourself, EVERYTHING! The entire universe could surround you with love (which it does, by the way), and you wouldn’t feel a damn thing, because you’re busily maintaining the lie, the facade, inside your prison of fear.
And, let me say this–apologies without change is bullshit! There, I said it. And, it’s true. How many times can a person say “I’m sorry”, and then almost immediately do the same thing again, before you realize–“They are never going to change.” What if that’s true? What if they aren’t going to change? Are you?? Are you going to change, or, will you begin to value yourself, more than the unhealthy relationship you’ve tried to have with someone, who wasn’t carrying their share of the load?
Let’s be honest: If a person with a “problem” or “issue” cannot speak on it aloud, cannot admit it, cannot consciously find the tools to heal themselves—there’s NOTHING you can do. Why? Because they don’t have a problem–you do! Unless, you’re going to “drink the kool aid” that they are “fine”, and “perfect”, and, the problem is you–you have no chance. You can drink the kool aid, but, I can promise you this–it’ll cost you everything. Peace of mind, sanity, quiet–those are beautiful things. But, when you maintain a relationship with someone who has none of them–then, neither do you.
If you’re not getting it yet: THIS AIN’T LOVE! I don’t care what they say–they don’t love you. Love doesn’t hurt on ANY LEVEL. Love doesn’t grind you in to fine powder to be snorted by the person who’s hurting you! Love doesn’t make you look like hell every day of the week, and hurt like hell every time of the day! Love doesn’t suck all the peace out of the room and replace it with eggshells for you to try an walk on. Love doesn’t require you to stay silent to “keep the peace”. Love doesn’t every tell you “You’re not a enough!” Ever! And, if anyone ask you to jump through a few hoops to win their love–jump in the nearest plane, train or automobile and make tracks! Love is not a circus act!
Spiritual growth will ask you to heal every hurt, and severe everything and everyone who hurts you. Ascension will ask you to do that. Your divine self cannot flourish while hurting, or being hurt. At some point–you will have to choose. Do not fool yourselves, there’s no peace without healing. And, there’s no healing without releasing the pain. So, once again, I implore you–know yourself for yourself. It will ease your journey toward remembering how divine, how amazing , how loved you truly are.
Love Peace Happiness N One,
Monica
P.S. If you thought this was only about romantic relationships–you’re wrong. 😉
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