Maybe its because 33 isn’t just an age for me, but, in numerological terms it’s what’s called a Master Number. No, I didn’t make that up, look it up for yourself. That being said, 3 is one of the completion numbers. Some also say that it’s the number that overcomes duality… So, having thirty-three is like doubling the energy of that number. Or, as my Wiccian people’s would say, “By the power of 3 x 3”. And, if you’re anti-wiccian… I don’t want to hear it. So, don’t bother me with that, okay? The point I’m making is, that I’ve not only made peace with “the flow”, or “the force”, but, I’m becoming one with it.
I think we as humans spend waaayyyy too much time fighting the flow of life. I’m from the beach (Holla J’ville, NC!), and I knew a lot of surfers, or at lease wanna-be surfers. And, even though I don’t surf, I understand that the waves rule and not the other way around. The only way to truly enjoy the ocean is to understand that you will work with it, and not the other way around. And, if you’ve brushed up on your Zen, then you know that in nature, you will find a lot of life’s answers.
Without looking, without really meaning to… I grew up! Not that I had what one might call a real childhood, because I didn’t. When I say that I’ve grown up, it’s because I no longer look to anyone beyond me for the answers we often asks as teenagers. Such as–Am I good enough? Or, who will I be? Whose going to take care of me? Do I fit in? Who will love me? Nor do I feel insecure about who I am, what I do, or the choices I’ve made. I don’t feel weak when I cry, or love, or feel vulnerable. I rarely get mad anymore. And, that’s saying a lot for me. I definately have overcome major anger issues since childhood. Whew!!!! And, let me tell you, that required some serious elbow grease! LOL…
I think when I discovered in my studies in psychology, sociology and philosophy, that emotions are universal (so to speak), I realized that what I go through isn’t special. So, um…I needed to get over myself. A few of my friends and I talk about that a lot. The ego will have you straight-tripping with the idea that your pain is the only one that exists, and your pain supersuedes everyone else’s. Um…negative, that’s a big ass lie. Pain cannot be measured, but, it can be healed. I think once you get that huge lesson, you can lighten up, heal the pain, and go with the happy flow of life. In other words, “Get…that…dirty of your shoulder!” LOL… I mean, think about it, whomever has hurt you did so because they hurt somewhere. Yeah, causing pain doesn’t cure the pain within does it? Yet, people continue to utilize that modus operandi… Weird. And, we are because the ego only lives for itself. I still have to check mine every once in a while. Sometimes she tries to trick me into believing she runs the show…um…negative, that’s a lie. 😉
When we grow beyond adolesence–no, not in age, in behavior–that’s when we find our flow in life. That’s when we are at one with the sweet wave of our lives. And, that’s the kind of ride you want to last forever. You know what I mean? By challenging myself, going inside breaking shit, fixing other shit, throwing yet some other shit out, I found all this room!!!! And, I’ve filled it with good people, great experiences, love, and abilities I only hoped to have, or, didn’t know I had at all. And, it’s sooo cool. There was nothing in my childhood that indicated that it would be this good, this…easy! I thought life was supposed to be hard, that I had to work hard, love hard, play hard…etc. Oh…hell to the no, no, no! It can be easy. And, now, I’m at the point where if it seems hard, but, I love it…then it’s no longer hard. It’s easy. On the contrary, if it is hard unnecessarily…. I’m out. Done. I guess the question is, “Do you really think this ride can last forever?” Well, hmmm…let’s see, when exactly does the ocean stop making waves? Huh? Exactly…now you have your answer. Don’t you just love it when I make you think?! LOL…
Love Peace Happiness N One,