Those who know me, understand that my own self-integrity is very important to me. I understand that I must be the change I want to see in the world–Thank you, Master Gandhi. But, being the change, comes with challenge. It means that you may not always be popular, that you will sometimes be resented, and, even hated.
People who stand in the strength of their authenticity and self-respect, are obstacles to those who prefer to live otherwise. It’s not personal, or, perhaps sometimes it is. But, at the end of the day, you must live in your own skin, and the hope is that you enjoy the experience.
My little brother told me a few years ago, that I was polarizing. And, I believe that is true. He says, all leaders are. People either like what you have to say, and the way you live, or they don’t. Again, this is true. But, my focus is on my own well-being. While I am a world server, and I bask in the glow of those I help to become empowered. I, am no service to anyone if I lie about who I am, or what I am about.
I have decided to be who I am without apology, permission, or fear. It’s a constant commitment I make. And, at this point in my life, I am not the only one who expects this from me. I know that for those who are close to me, I serve as a touchstone in their lives. Whenever they feel lost, off-center, or mired in their own bullshit, they ask me to tell them the truth as I see. No one, I mean no one calls me about a situation if they don’t want objective clarity on it. While I am not mean, or bitter in my delivery–I am direct. I will listen, and I will point out the holes, the choices and the opportunities, as well as the potentials. It isn’t my concern that you live your life the way I see fit. As most times, I’m not that emotionally attached to the situation. My concern is that I’m honest with you in what I see and hear. Why? Because it is what I would want if I were you. When I look for help, opinions, or any type of guidance, I want the truth. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. –Don’t lie to me. Answer my question: Straight, no chaser.
Recently, I had a conversation with someone who thought I had been something other than respectful to them. They would contact me, feed me bullshit, and then got upset when I would say, “You know this is bullshit, right?” If you tell me you’re fine, but, sound like you’re on the verge of a breakdown, all I hear is the breakdown. If you smile, but, your eyes are brimming with tears, all I see is the tears. And, if you’re telling me you’re going to be okay, and, all I can see is you’re about to board a train to purgatory–I just hear the conductor’s call. I will not ever buy the lie. It doesn’t matter whose doing the lying, I will never partake in it. That’s just how it is for me.
Imagine if you will, you’re in a tough place in your life. You’re so stressed that you can’t see straight. You’re so lost in the dark, that you’ve forgotten the sun exists. And, then you reach out to the one person who knows you best, who knows you, even when you’ve lost sight of yourself. You call, or write, or meet with them and you talk. You tell them everything, the good, bad and the beyond ugly. And, after many years of telling you the truth (even when you didn’t want to hear it), today–today they lie. And, the thing about a lie is, we always know. Our gut feels like someone just kicked it. The sound of the liar’s voice sounds “off”. What now? What do you do when your touchstone turns on you? What do you anchor yourself to when you very anchor is floating out to sea? It’s offcial: You are lost and this is hell! And, the one person you look to help guide you home is just as lost as you are! What now?!
That scenario could be the unravelling of somone’s reality as they know it. And, not everyone will make it back to equilibrium after that. I understand that–I get that. So, if I play the role of touchstone in your life–I won’t ever take the chance of lying to you, so you aren’t mad at me. In that scenario, the most important thing is you remembering who you are and what you want. –Not whether or not you like me! How can you like me, or anyone, if you’re confused about who you are? Its a both serious and fragile state to be in, and, I treat it that way.
There are those people in our lives we’ve given the job of being our touchstone, our anchors. It’s a gift we give to ourselves, so we don’t ever go too far off course. I have a few and, I always make sure they know how much I love and appreciate them. I also let everyone I am the “truth-speaker” for know–I’m up for the challenge, I’m in it for the long-haul and I’m very honored to provide that kind of service.
Love your touchstones and anchors. Let them know you appreciate them. And, above all else, stand tall and resolute in your own truth and integrity.
Love Peace Happiness N One,
Apologies for the formatting issues–Mercury is in retrograde. So, I’m adapting. 😉