I’m truly glad I’m sensitive, receptive and always searching. Othewise, I would’ve missed the clear message I got yesterday to “slow down!” Sometimes, I get caught up in the getting there, without really realizing it. When I know there’s an answer to a question, or an answer where the question hasn’t formed–I get impatient.
I’m impatient by nature, truly. A huge portion of my life has been tempering it, slowing it down, enjoying the process. And, just when it seems to being going rather well… WHOOPS! I get smacked up with the idea of “You could be more patient, still.” That’s an argument, that I don’t even bother to engage in anymore. I just sit there (after sulking) and agree. Yes, I can be even more patient (Ugh!).
So, why is patience so important? It’s simple, because I require rest. And, when I say rest, that’s a loaded word. My brain processes astonishingly fast. And, when there’s an overuse of things, there’s a breakdown bound to happen. Fatigue is no joke for me. I hate being tired. I really resent it. But, the truth is, things take time to manifest. On an average day, I’m working on three projects, and thinking about at least six more things that will help them come to fruition faster. And, that’s just my professional life!
In my personal life, I’m constantly thinking about the people I love. And, they are so inconveniently spread out all over the country, or the city! While I love the fact that there’s so many places, I can visit–I don’t always love that everyone isn’t in the same time zone, or on the same street, for that matter. When I think about my friends, I tend to do so rather intensely. So much so, that when they call, or email me, or whatever… they tell me how loud I am! LMAO! Yes, even in the ethers, I will not be ignored! And, a shout-out to all my people who answer me, so I can stop wondering how you’re doing. Heehee… I love you!
Right now, it’s important for me to slow down. In spiritual development, there’s a lot of sleepless nights. It isn’t because I’m worried, it’s because I’m listening, or thinking, or meditating, or… It’s like anything, when you work out, you’re going to be tired until your muscles develop. That’s the understanding, that’s the process. So, here it’s um a lot of the following: Insomnia, loss of focus, headaches, buzzing in the ears and sensitivity to sound in general. There’s the weird achy joint syndrome, there’s the odd flashes of light. There’s the crazy dreams or, OBE(s), the hot flashes, the cold chills, there’s the disinterest in time, news, the mundane. It goes on and on. Theres a lot of undoing, in order to rebuild. Everything you thought you knew gets re-examined, just to make sure, it’s still true for you. EXHAUSTING! LOL…
See…truly, I shouldn’t be rushing through that. 😉 I must be courageous and disciplined enough to find enjoyment in the process. I must become the equavalent of a dorito factory; remember when the slogan was, “Crunch all you want, we’ll make more”? That is how I must view patience. No matter how much I’ve used–and, I’ve already exceeded my own expectations–I have to make more patience.
We have that phrase, “In time, things will get better…”. Now, of course my view on time has changed drastically, but, there is something to be said for allowing things to develop fully, before trying to experience them. And, because I like to do things in a big way, it’s important that I allow enough time for them to fully develop. Producing a film is big, I want to make as little mistakes as possible. Opening a store is big, I want to make sure, that once it opens, it will continue to grow. Having my life is HUGE! Even I get overwhelmed by myself sometimes! So, I have to be more understanding with myself, more forgiving, more kind. Yes, I will rest. I will walk, not run. I will enjoy the smell of roses… I will rest when I’m tired. I will chew my food, tasting it before swallowing… LOL And, I will get there. I will always get there! Between here and there, is where all the magic takes place, and I don’t want to miss any of it. 😉
Love Peace Happiness N One,