Today is 1/11/2014… The one tells us numerology-wise that we are beginning again. While the eleven tells us, it is the time of the master. In the year of seven– my personal life path number. So far, the year has been nothing short of intense. I don’t know about you, but, I’m already exhausted–yet, I am hopeful.
I was smart in that I decided to spend New Year’s Eve home, alone, and quiet. It was beautiful, restful, and exactly what I needed. For those of you who haven’t read my blog: Weather you like it or not — It refers to my conversations with Gaia late last year, and her preparing me and us for the massive weather changes that would close out last year, and reach far into this year. Shortly after I wrote it, there were volcanoes, hurricanes, floods, fires and now… the snow–or, if you prefer… Polar Vortex. The earth, like ourselves is purging her old energy, and we will all be affected, because we are of earth. If you haven’t read that blog, and wondering what the hell is going on, I’d like to recommend reading it.
Today souls… I am in shadow–earlier this week, Monday into Tuesday to be exact– I just felt dark, pissy, and irritable. I felt like I was restraining an anger that I was sure wasn’t mine. It literally felt like it was coming from outside of me, but, somehow found itself into my auric sphere. I did a lot of breathing at work that day, taking care not to singe others by breathing fire. That’s the thing about mastering yourself– You know what’s yours, what isn’t, when to engage with the public, and when to find your sacred space and stay the hell away from people! 🙂 I got through Tuesday, but, I didn’t feel any better Wednesday, and that’s when it hit me–the sun! What is the sun doing?! I just knew my good friend Ra was having some sort of tantrum. Well, probably not a tantrum, but, that’s what I call Solar Storms. Now the thing about that is– the sun just had a storm on New Year’s Day! Another reason why I was happily alone. But, sure enough, the sun was having another storm, I am VERY sensitive to sun storms. But, it wasn’t just me–my cats had a rough time of it as well. There was howling, pacing, fighting. My female cat, who is psychic herself came to me, looked at me and howled. She wanted me to console her–so, after a bit of snuggling she felt better. Sometimes, your furry babies require reassurance. My male cat, sat next to me on Thursday evening and plopped down on my right hand, and reiki began to flow, without any effort on my part. He needed healing, energy stabilization, and I could and did help.
After a five year hiatus, I started back to the gym this week. Which I’m quite grateful for. Without the treadmill, the stationary bike and sauna–I think my sensitivities would have been a bit rougher. My need for exercise has always been based on stress management. When I say stress, I don’t mean bills, work, etc. I mean the stresses ascension can put on your body and mind. There is no stopping point, once you have gone down this road, or jumped in the rabbit hole as it were. You will always change, you will always transform, you will always find moments of discomfort, and yes, there will be many trips to the void. This is the process of remembering, this is how it goes. The wisdom is in knowing, accepting and allowing the process to flow as it needs to. The master within doesn’t get attached to the emotions being felt, expressed, or things outside one’s self. This is the practice, this is how it goes. Like I said to a friend of my recently, a fellow psychic– Stand back, but, watch everything. We do not have to be apart of every drama, and experience, to learn from it. So, while, I have bared witness to what has been going on with the sun, the earth and myself– I do not have to lose myself in it. These are purging energies–old, useless habit, ways of being and experiencing life is leaving to be transformed and transmuted. After many years of watching this– I know that I am apart of this tapestry, but, at the same time, I AM my own I AM. Each transformation urges me to be clear in my own I AM. All changes, are here to remove the illusion of being human, while being divine. I AM divine first, being human is the shroud that I wear at this time, for this planet, for this reality.
All these changes have brought about today’s shadow. I woke up this morning not feeling great. I, I being the human aspect, felt very emotional– for no apparent reason. My body is a little creaky as well. It’s gloomy outside, misty, and gray–so, I am in tune with it. My chakras are purging some crud from yesterday, yester-year, yester-lifetime. And, yet… when I feel into my I AM–it smiles this warm, knowing, kind and confident smile at me. And, I know, I know, I truly know– I’m doing exceedingly well. I am more buoyant, more bright, more at ease and yes, happier than I could have ever been. People are so confused about what happiness is. They have been taught happiness is when you’re feeling high off of adrenaline, endorphins, and the ego is getting exactly what it wants, when it wants it. That is NOT happiness… That is an internal chemical high. It is temporary! While I stop short of saying do not enjoy it, I would say keep it in perspective. That is your body reacting to a moment in time of your life. Happiness is a state of consciousness that requires you work through all the falsehoods of yourself as an individual, to get to your essences… your I AM. And, once you have a committed, integrated relationship with your I AM, your God-self… nothing, can break it apart. Not light, not shadow, not “bad” weather, “bad” relationships, not someone disagreeing with you, your lifestyle, your decisions for your life… NOTHING. A friend on facebook asked if we could ever be free. Which I found so very refreshing. He was referring to obligations, whether they be work, family, country, etc. It’s funny, because obligations don’t work if you do not agree to them. 🙂 See the trap? See the power? See the opportunity?? What are you saying “yes” to? And, where are your answers coming from?? When they come from your I AM, you know that there is no obligation, that there was always freedom, and it is earned by understanding your relationship with yourself, first. When you get that– you understand the universe in a way, the brain and science have yet to understand.
My shadow– God, I love her. All of these things, these changes, this magic of transformation wouldn’t be available without shadow. And, all things in the universe have shadow. The sun gives us light, and then leaves us in the dark, until the moon gives us, light, but, she too has a dark side. In between the rising and setting of the sun and moon there is a void… we call them dawn and dusk. 😉 Every planet has for our eyes light and shadow. Everything on the planet is capable of light and shadow, from a calm ocean, that swells into a tidal wave– to a calm sky that turns into a thunderstorm, snow storm, wind storm, hurricane or tornado. The other creatures here on the planet in one moment can be kind, calm and gentle, and in the next ferocious, deadly, and fearsome. We, human beings, are part of this ebb and flow. If it weren’t a useful time, it wouldn’t be apart of our nature. It is meant, we are meant to have a time of shadow. It balances out the light, and vice versa.
I do not know how long this shadow time will last, probably a day or so more–but, it doesn’t matter. While I haven’t been in this exact moment before, I’ve seen enough of my shadow, of darkness, and of the void to know– this too shall pass. I am acknowledging this time for myself to move through it. I hope that you will read this blog and know that you too are okay to accept your shadow self. You’re fine, this is how it goes… but, this isn’t how it stays. The journey continues.
Love Peace Happiness N One,