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Yes, believe it or not, I actually spend a lot of time silent. I mean, you try living in my head attempting to make sense of all the stuff going on around you. So, therefore, I haven’t spoken here for a while.
One of the things I’ve been noticing is the perpetual surfacing of things people have left in the dark. A lot of situations are demanding to be settled. And, when I see the manner in which the consequences of bad-seeds planted tend to find thier way to light…ugh…its just kinda depressing. Why? Why bother to cut corners, to try an get over, to read crib-notes instead of reading the entire book? I just don’t get it.
I’ve recently had to allow some people to leave my life. A lover, maybe two, a few friends and while I am sad, I just cannot be down with people adding more grief, more drama, more obstacles to their lives. And, one could say that I’m not affected by their actions but, that is naieve, indeed. When a stone is thrown into a lake, the entire lake ripples. So, think on that. And, if you want to fly, you’ve gotta maintain  flight weight.
I don’t know, as I grow older, its become more important to me to feel uninhibited. Actually, that’s always been my thing, I guess I’m just more cognizant of it now. I’m a creative person and in order for me to create, I have to be in an environment that appreciates and nurtures individuality. And, in this day, this age, and this country, that’s really hard to come by. If you make your own rules and live by them, people tend to be at a loss as to what to do with you. And, my answer??? Let me go…you can’t control me anyway.
Freedom is that thing that all of us crave, you know? Freedom to be–whatever and whomever you are. And, yet, freedom in itself isn’t free. People tend to want freedom, but, want acceptance from society at large. And, I have to say, that contridiction will never be resolved as long as society is made up of individuals fearful of being judged for being their authentic selves. We measure success by other people’s standards as if they are the same. We look for someone else to verfiy that we’re okay, that we’re worthy of…well…anything, really. And, each time we put someone else’s opinon of us, before our own we’re adding more baggage to our flight weight, only to wonder why we can’t seem to get things “off the ground.”
I love everyone for just existing in general, I really do. But, I don’t owe anyone my happiness, my freedom, or…me. I have to live for myself, and if that means that I have to let go of things and people who aren’t in alignment with my vision of my greatest potential, then, I’m not affraid to put it or, them down. Because the alternative is to bury yourself with other’s ideas, or expectations of  you, and that’s not a life, that’s a slow death. Many have said that the path of enlightenment is a narrow one, implying that not many can fit on it all at once. And, that sometimes, you may be “seemingly” walking alone. Well, I did a hike alone to signify that I am ready to do just that–walk alone if need be. Regardless, I will not be deterred, nor slowed down by my attachment to things or people who do not have my best interest at heart. This is the bravery and courage of the warrior spirit. Travel light, carry what is needed, seek shelter when necessary, and be able to leave at a moments notice. I’m down with that. Who’s with me?
Love Peace Happiness N One,
SunDeevah
P.S.
Why does myspace have more negative emtions on its “” list, than positive. WTF?!