I broke up with a friend last night–I’ve known this person since I was 17. And, up until last night it never occurred to me that this person didn’t get a fundamental part of who I am–respectful. And, I require the same from you. It’s not negotiable. So, I wake up this day happy (yes, still) and with a new clarity. I will not wear some one’s definition of who I should be, how I should behave so that they can either control me, or a situation. No–you can go and so can I, because it will not be.
Everyone close to me knows one thing for sure: I’m busy. I don’t have one job, I have a minimum of three. I’m always working on completing a project and I make time for my friends. So, when I’m planning on meeting with you–I really am planning. I need to know what I’m going to be doing so I can adjust my life accordingly. When I make plans with people, I ask all the questions necessary and provide all the necessary information. That’s common courtesy, right? It’s being thoughtful, isn’t it?
I know I live life at a different standard than others. But, I’m not going to apologize for it. Why? I treat people the way I want to be treated. I do not coerce, overlook critical information, withhold it, or flat out lie to get people to do things. So, when someone puts me in a situation where I no longer have clarity, or options–yeah, they are going to hear about it. If you set up the situation, you’ll have to deal with the consequences. Telling me to “go with the flow” is bullshit. There’s two flows in progress when dealing with another person–yours and theirs. And, the combination of the two creates a new one. So, when you tell a person to “go with the flow” you really mean yours, not theirs and not the combination of the two. It’s an attempt of control–whether a person is keen enough to realize it or not.
Last night–someone who knows me very well accused me of being judgemental, negative, and an embarrassment. All, because I was upset with them for putting me in a situation where I wasn’t comfortable. Mind you–no one else that I met–who, by the way, I wasn’t aware I was going to be meeting until I did–had an issue with me. In fact, I found them quite pleasant and vice versa. Nope, just my so-called friend, who bamboozled me into a situation.
Let me be crystal–I’m not judgemental, I don’t look down on people. But, I am a direct person, as I don’t want any confusion of what I’m trying to communicate. I empower people, I don’t control them–I’d have to care enough about power to want to–and…I don’t. I’m enough energy for me to control, not to mention, controlling others is futile. I can’t. You can’t. No matter what anyone says. If someone is controlling you–you gave up control. And, I didn’t. So, this is what this person is most pissed about. I said to this person, “You don’t know what kind of week I had, what kind of day, and then you just throw me in a situation where I have to meet new people. Hello, I’m tired! I had a rough week, and you don’t get that I was under the impression it was going to be a low-key night?” No–it really never occurred to this person. Why? Because apparently, no one they’ve hung out with has spoken up for themselves and said, “No. I’m not cool with that.”
We ended the evening knowing very well our friendship was over. You don’t get to accuse me of being things that I’m not simply because I don’t go with your flow. You don’t get to accuse me of being negative, when, it’s never been part of who I am. I’m not negative because I won’t allow myself to be controlled, but, you might be delusional about how the world and relationships work. Respect isn’t negotiable. People’s time is theirs to spend as they see fit. And, when they want to spend it with you–it’s a gift and not to be taken for granted.
If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again–being spiritual, doesn’t mean pushover. Being positive doesn’t mean I’m a doormat. Speaking up for myself, doesn’t mean I’m negative. I’m no longer interested in handling people with kid-gloves when they come out with the verbal punches. If you come for me–know what you’re talking about. Because I will reflect you back to you. I have a habit of telling someone all the ugly things about themselves they thought they were hiding. So, please–don’t project onto me, unless you want the truth of yourself exposed.
I know who I am, I’ve spent my entire life–I mean from the age of 5 onward, learning, expanding, changing and growing into myself. While I’m open to listening, I’m not open to accepting definitions of myself that aren’t mine. I write my story, I define me. Your words are opinions, and you’re allowed to them, as many as you like. But, don’t be dissappointed if my response is a gleam in my eye, a smile on my face, and me walking away from you. Namaste, means I honor you–doesn’t mean, I have to deal with you.
Love Peace Happiness N One,