If it isn’t clear…let me tell you straight up. I have no problem articulating what’s on my mind. If you slight me–I will tell you. Not because I enjoy telling people off, because I don’t. Most of the time, I find it bothersome. But, because I like to give people the opportunity to self-reflect. Yes, sometimes, the mirror you see yourself in, is another person.
What I can no longer deal with in in any form is: adults who are unaware of themselves and projecting their issues onto other people. Sorry (enter sarcasm here)…I am NOT responsible for your feelings… you are. I am not responsible for any of the damages you’ve incurred on your way to here. And, I will not pretend to be. Just like I will not expect you to treat me with kid gloves because of anything that’s happened in my past. Yes…I have a past. I’ve experienced hurt, pain and disappointment. I just know it doesn’t make any sense to make other people suffer because I have. Or expect them to treat me like I’m a faberge egg, when I’m not. Humans are resilient, we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for. So, please… act like it.
Last week…someone misunderstood my tone on a post somewhere and seriously went off on me. They imposed onto me their views of how I was “nasty” in tone, and how I was reacting. When in truth, my words had no tone at all, but, simply pointed out another point of view. I took a real beating in terms of their opinions that were given about who I am, what kind of person I am…etc. And, here’s the deal on that. I said nothing. I did so, because I do not have to prove who I am to anyone other than me. See, everyone has their own pair of glasses they see the world through. And, they do so based on their personal experience. It’s the wise soul that takes those little cracked framed pieces of glass and throws them in the nearest dumpster! A wise soul sits in the place of observation without emotional attachment, without creating a slight where there is none. I mean…if I have an issue with you–you won’t have to guess at it… I’ll just say, ” I have an issue with you.”
Some people say I’m direct, like it’s a bad thing. But, I say, I’m being honest. You’ll never have to guess my feelings about you, a situation, or myself–I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you honestly…and, if necessary, I’ll be brutally honest. Truth is better than being vague, or flat-out lying any day of the week.
Why people cannot handle direct honesty, still puzzles me… But, not enough to care. –Not enough to entertain unnecessary drama. And, certainly, not enough to keep me awake at night. People will hear what they want, and see what they want. My gauging of a situation goes something like this: “Would I want to be on the recieving end of what I just said/did to them?” –If the answer is yes…chances are you are in the clear. If the answer is, “no”… you know you’ve fucked up and need to grab that can of apology and offer it to the injured party. But, please …if you going to apologize–apologize. Do not do the following: insinuate the other person deserved it–it was their fault, you aren’t responsible, or…they misunderstood you. Come on, we know when we’re wrong. We know when are being disrespectful or hurtful–so, save the bullshit, or don’t bother apologizing.
And, if you cannot apologize, ready yourself to lose that person. See, here’s where the ego starts trippin… We think that people have to put up with our shit because we are so great. Uh, uh…come, again–no one has to put up with your shit. And, when they do so, it’s for their own reasons, not because you’re so freaking wonderful. And, rest assured…if you continue to screw over someone, at some point in time…they will find their self-respect and leave you. So, if that person means nothing to you–by all means, give them every reason to drop you like a bad, and deadly habit. But, if you care–you’d better own and adjust your behavior.
By the way, ignorance is no excuse for refusing to take responsibility for your actions. I really can’t stand it when people act as if it was someone else who committed their act.
“It was the other me that yelled at you… the drunk version.” Except it was the sober you that took the first drink to get drunk… So…whose responsible, again?
“I didn’t mean to say that, it just sorta came out…” Really? So, that was someone else’s mind that allowed those words to escape from your mouth in a fit of anger???
“I didn’t mean to hit you–I’d never hurt you.” Except that was your fist, and you did hurt me!
See…yeah, when it’s YOU…its’ YOU–own it, fix what’s broken, and be real about it.
Life isn’t as long as we’d like to think it is. So, it’s important to know what you will deal with, and what you won’t. You must draw boundaries of what’s okay, and what’s not okay–not for other people, but, for yourself. You know what works for you in relationships and what doesn’t. Define those things, make it clear, and do not…under ANY circumstances…allow anyone to cross a boundary that will cost you the love and respect of yourself. Another person may be in your life for the next five minutes. You, on the other hand, are stuck with you forever. Keep that in mind.
Love Peace Happiness N One,
Just – YES! A million times – YES!