Once again, I am being asked to accept the beautiful gift of choice. Not just mine, but, everyone else’s. We are naive in that we believe that everyone here desires happiness, health and love. And, when you’ve lived long enough, and seen enough, those beliefs are proven to be false. No. Everyone doesn’t want what’s best for them. Everyone does not want what’s for their highest good. And, no…everyone doesn’t want peace.
If you’ve answered the call of lightworker, you’ve seen up close, souls that are so severely lost, so confused, so fill with self-hatred, that your heart aches when dealing with them. But, what do you do? Why are you there? Why are you being shown this? For a few reasons:
1. HELP And, you answered. I know this to be true, because I have answered this call over and over for so many years, that finally, I realized, if I was going to do this job, I should get paid. You are now reading part of this realization. People call for help when they can no longer stand the pain. Whether the pain be physical, mental, emotional, psychological, or spiritual… When we can take it no longer, our very soul screams: “HEEELLLPPPPP!!!! I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!” And, you know what?? Help answers EVERYTIME! The issues surface when people find out that help requires change, that help means, you have to do something different, be someone different. Help is not a temporary fix, but, a permanent change.
2. HEALING. The very presence of a lightworker brings with it healing energies, and a reminder, that you HAVE YOUR OWN LIGHT and can TURN UP YOUR LIGHT AT ANY TIME! It’s no coincidence that a lightworker is agitating. We piss you off, we annoy the fuck out of you. Why? Because we are the ones who chose to change and become the unknown, while you cower in in fear of it. OUCH!! That hurt! Only, your ego…and, it’ll recover. In the meantime, you need to know, you can do this, you can ascend, you can change for the better, and you ARE the one manifesting the positive and negative events in your life. It’s your responsiblity. Having a lightworker actually doing the damn thing, lets everyone around them know… this ain’t rocket science, but, it does require EVERYTHING.
3. ACCOUNTABILITY. As any lightworker will tell you–watching someone remain asleep can be hard, and painful. There is no discrimination of who these people will be. They could be your friends, family, romantic partner… or, spiritual community. When a lightworker answers the call for HELP. When they serve as the standard and channel for HEALING energy, and the person CHOOSES to remain the same. They, the lightworker, must make a decision for themselves. Will they stay sick with this person, or people?? Or, will they continue to answer the call of their OWN JOURNEY OF ASCENSION? Regardless, of what a person chooses for themselves, the lightworker must answer their own I AM. They cannot allow the actions of others to dictate their own. This is where “Namaste” comes in. Namaste means, I will honor the God in you, as I do my own inner God. And, if you choose to remain sick, I MUST accept it! Even if my ego is screaming bloody murder, I must accept it. Even if my heart is breaking and falling out of my chest, I MUST accept it. Even if I’m so hysterical that I’ve fallen to the floor– I MUST crawl out the door of your life and ACCEPT IT!
Pretty heavy, huh? No… No, it isn’t. See, it’s the human ego that says we need to control the actions of others. It’s the human ego, that is reactive and overly emotional. It is the human ego that says, “I’m scared of change! I’m scared to be great! I’m scared to be happy! I”m just soooo fucking scared of…. LIFE!” –NOT, the angelic side of us, not the God within us. A lightwoker answers the God within, because they know life is a miraculous gift. They know, when you let go of what holds you down, you can fly! They know, that letting someone be who they choose, allows them to continue to be the person, they, as lightworkers chose to be a very long time ago. YOU DON’T GET ATTACHED TO THE WHIMS AND WHINNINGS OF OTHERS– not even your own. You listen, you acknowledge, you speak when asked, and you leave when it’s time to go!
People have misunderstood me for the majority of my life. And, I’ve accepted that. I’ve made peace with it. They say, I don’t accept people’s shortcomings… And, that’s not true. I do accept such things, thus, I remove them from my life. They say I don’t accept people for who they are. Not true, I just know I don’t have to deal with them. They say, I’m too hard on people. Again, that’s a lie… I just know when they are bullshiting, and I don’t pretend it to be otherwise. There’s nothing wrong with me wanting the best possible life for myself. There is nothing wrong with removing people who only want to half-ass the life they’ve been given. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to continue to explore, express and celebrate my life, by removing the toxic, needy, co-dependent, self-loathing, self-hating, self-destructive people from it. It simply means, I really LOVE MONICA! And, make no mistake, I DO! I love myself so much, that I would trade any and all toxic situations and people for my own happiness and peace of mind. 😉 And, any and all pain my ego suffered from such decisions, was forgotten when I received the peace, joy, and happiness in its return! Do you get that? Do you really get that?!!
THE CONCEPT OF LOVE STARTS WITH OURSELVES! How many times, how many ways must this be said to you?! If you treat someone else better than you treat yourselves, this IS NOT LOVE! If you are HURTING YOU by HELPING THEM… This is NOT LOVE! If you NEED someone more than you WANT them… THIS IS NOT LOVE! And, I cannot, and will not in good conscience participate in such CO-DEPENDENT, PARASITIC, DECEPTIVE, MANIPULATIVE relationships with ANYONE. Not my friends, not my family, not my lovers, not my clients! No one. Because in order to participate, I’d have to lose…EVERYTHING. And, I’ll tell you all this right now: NONE OF YOU ARE WORTH IT. OUCH!! How can I say that so easily? Simple: YOU CANNOT REPLACE ME. The love I have for you, will never replace the love I have for myself, the self-respect, the honor, the grace… I earned those things from myself, for myself, and if they are lost… I will not be able to find them in any of you. And, the same for us all.
Truth… It’s so irrelevant whether or not you can handle it… It’s so irrelevant as to whether or not you can live it. Truth is. Truth is always at work to find the light. It has no mercy, it doesn’t care about your feelings, your ego, your fragility… It WILL be KNOWN. It’s your choice as to how you will react to it…. It’s your choice as to how you will act on truth. It’s your choice as to whether or not you’ll enjoy the freedom that comes with it.
I have made my choice. I made my choice so long ago, that it’s pretty much second nature. I AM doing this for myself first, and anyone who’d like to learn from me, can. But, it’s not for you…it’s never been for you. So, if you can only make toxic contributions. If you can only slow me down, distract rather than support–remain stifled and afraid, rather than remain open and grow—I’ll accept you and, I’ll move on. This is my ascension, and it is happening NOW and no matter what.
Love Peace Happiness N One,