We’ve all had the experience where someone has hurt us, or something has happened and we felt terribled and then we think…”How could they do that to me?!” Right?  We wanna scream victim, right? Well, honestly, I think being a victim is a choice. Sometimes people do things to purposely hurt us, because they themselves hurt. But, being a victim is something we don’t have to accept. We can choose differently. And, we should. When we refuse to be the victim it’s like taking our power back from the person who thinks they’ve done something to us. Can we control selfish, damaged, f-ed up people of the world? No. But, we can control ourselves. And, that’s what I mean when I say it’s not about you, but, it is. An asshole is an asshole because of what’s going on with them. In that scenario you have no role, you’re just a stock character to fill-in for the person who orginally hurt them. So, what can you do? You can see the situation for what it is and make decisions accordingly. You don’t have to allow anyone to mistreat you, if that isn’t what you want. You can call out the person and their actions.
For any of you who’ve felt choked when you’ve needed to say something important–understand what’s stuck there is the truth. And, it’s you who is refusing to speak it. Why? Oh you don’t want to hurt the other person, or you fear rejection. If the truth hurts us, it’s probably because we’re living a lie and we’re lying to those who we say we care about. It’s like walking around in darkness and then someone shines a light–at first, it hurts our eyes, but, at least we can see where we’re going. Truth is, no one is going to treat you better or worse than their treating themselves. So, when someone mistreats you, it’s because they mistreat themselves on some level. And, instead of screaming victim, emancipate yourself from the situation. You cannot save someone from themselves, but, you can choose to get yourself out of the situation, by refusing to be a victim and chosing to be your own s/hero. Their issues aren’t about you, but, your reaction is.
Love Peace Happiness N One,

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