Doctor Suess said I’d go so many places, and he was so right. The world offers me all sorts of goodies from the US, Europe, Eastern Europe, the Caribean… Yep… nice stuff to look at. Occassionally, I partake, but… the fascination doesn’t last long. Simply put, if someone is hungry you don’t nourish them with candy. And, I get offered candy all the time. And, for more years than I can remember. This ones from France, this one is from Serbia, this one Puerto Rico, that one Poland, this one from Cally, make that Brooklyn, Jersey, no…wait NC, or is it…Romania–wait, was that substance I smelled??? Um…no, wait, maybe, um…hold on, give me a sec, there maybe something, but, he’s a little scared to show it to me. Ugh! Aww man… Fuck it! If you can’t make up your mind…don’t offer me anything, especially if you aren’t going to deliver! Got it?!
I was reading this letter an ex wrote me back in 1996. All about how sorry he was that he loved me and couldn’t get it together. He was very sincere, and I knew it was the truth. But, you know what? I could take that letter, and cover quite a few pieces of candy with it. Honestly, it’s nice to know you all think I’m beautiful in the way that counts most. No, really, I mean that. I do bring my best, all the time. I do. But, if you have no intention of doing the same…EVER…. Seriously, don’t flash me with your shinny wrappers, that hide the fact you’re empty inside, or your pretty package or gift bags that is filled with mostly air, and in the corner is a really scared, hurt, sad little boy who doesn’t ever want to come out and be happy. Dude…that’s so not cool. You’re lying from the beginning. And, I don’t want it, need it, have time for it, or deserve it.
I don’t ever get into a situation lightly. Ever. Not that kinda woman, wasn’t that kind of girl. And, only through my marriage to my best friend did I learn the importance of tolerance, forgiveness and vulnerablity in a relationship. Okay so, it didn’t work out, but, I was a good student and got all thelessons I could, and, that completely changed my life. It puzzles me, that candy even bothers with me at all. I mean, if I look like more than you can handle… I probably am! Unless your courage comes with intestinal fortitude…you’re probably going to come to a point where you’re feeling in over your head. And, you’re going to do one of two things: 1. Swim like hell for the shore (route taken by most, sadly). Or, 2. You’re going form quite a fascination for deep sea diving/scuba diving. Yes, DEEP. That’s all we make here…SUBSTANCE. If you aren’t a fan, please don’t fake it on my account, I don’t need it. And, I promise not to notice you, if you promise not to ask to be noticed.
Okay fine, yes, I am Star Bright, I am SunDeevah, Storm (in some circles) and Young Jedi* to one. But, you know what??? THAT’S WHO I REALLY AM! I’m not all lit up, with no place to GLOW! I’m not candy! Inside this sparkly, glittering, mesmerizing little package is a lot more than some of you will ever know in this lifetime. Oh…you didn’t think I’d admit it? Are you crazy?! I developed that substance myself! Now, if you assumed that I was doing what you may have been doing like… I don’t know…LYING! –Then my sweet little morsels of candy, you were wrong. Some things that glitter, really are GOLD! Gotcha! LOL –And, since some women and a lot of girls really don’t know better, I’d like to forfeit most of my candy to some of them. I mean, after anywhere from two weeks to three months, I’m going to throw it out anyway. Seriously, shinny empty wrapers aren’t amusing for very long. So… might as well share ’em.
If for some reason you happen to be a male offended by what I’m saying, before you come to complain to me, please make sure its not because you really know that you’re “candy” and you’re mad I’m calling you out. I say this to you, honesty is a good policy to hold. If you know that you’re never going to want me to care about you deeply, count on you for anything, or trust you to honor your word…then you know that you truly are candy and that you ain’t filling for me, or, anyone else for that matter. So, don’t be mad, either fix it, or own it. Either way…I’m mostly over you. But, hey, know that I love you all…even if has to be from light years away. I mean, I love shinny, pretty things as much as anyone else, but, I’m wondering if someone could just provide me with the packages that feel like there’s something inside before I try an open it. You know, it needs to pass the “shake” test. Otherwise…I may have to regift. Um…does anyone want my share of candy? I’m kinda sick of it. LOL
Love Peace Happiness N One,