When you grow into yourself more–it’s so amazing. But, it’s even more so when you’re total conscious of each intention that you create, and then it exceeds your blueprint! — How do I put into words the knowing of myself, and the fact that it’s a never-ending adventure? I don’t know that there are words to describe the level of comfort, the happiness, the complete OM, I feel being in this skin.
I’m just so happy. And, no…it’s not the fleeting kind that lasts a few moments, or days. It’s the kind of happiness that can only be closely described by the feeling of a really great workout at the gym. I choose that analogy, because what I’m talking about is a workout of the innerself. And, for me personally (who’s been known to be a gym-rat), it’s so much better! Once developed, these kinds of muscles only get better with time, they never diminish and can expand as far as your imagination, and if you allow it your imagination can expand–so, in truth, there is no end to who I can be. What I’m tickled about is, I am sooo much better than I’ve ever imagined myself to be. And, believe me, I’ve always maintained high expectations for myself.
I know some people won’t get this, and that’s okay. But, it is my belief and experience that as long as we are being our truest, most divine selves–we’re in perfection, nirvana, heaven, bliss, etc. And, no, that doesn’t mean the generally accepted definiton of perfection. I’m saying be-ing you in your truest sense in any given moment, and being present for it–that’s perfection. A lot of people have tried to define me over my lifetime, but, I never liked that experience–that is until I realized that the definition of me that I enjoyed most was my own. And, that can be anywhere from: “I’m feeling pretty awesome!” to, “I swear to the good lord if I don’t get some silence soon, I don’t even know what!” Now, to the untrained eye, ear, or spirit those two thoughts might seem oppossing, or wrong. But, this is where I ask, “Are they true?” I mean am I really feeling this way? And, if the answer is “yes”, then is it without flaw, it is perfect, it is divine.
I’m not going to say I do not have moments of frustration, irritation, and on rare occasions all-out rage. Because I do. The key is not to inflict whatever issues I’m having onto someone else, but, to DEAL with myself and whatever minor issue I’m having at the time, and by the way they are ALL minor. That doesn’t mean my core-being isn’t happy, because she is. How do I know this? Simple: she’s truly expressing herself and apologizes to no one for it, nor does she ask for permission or acceptance from anyone else. People are complicated creatures, and this particular people (me)– oh where to begin! LOL And, because I know this about myself, I can show myself a lot of love, compassion and understanding…no matter what. And, I’m able to laugh at myself as if I were watching my life on tv (which sometimes I feel like I’m doing).
This work out has been going on my entire life, and I understand that now. It’s been vigorous, intense, sometimes painful. But, these days the soreness has lessened in time, and the muscles develop a lot quicker. And, to be honest–I do like earning what I get out of life, although, I am getting better at accepting things offered as well. Yen and yang are the same, don’t you know? Heehee…
Love Peace Happiness N One,
SunDeevah
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