I am, who I say I am… And, everyday, the concept of me seems to get bigger. I like it. It’s nice to know, that all the things I thought I knew about myself aren’t permanent and that like all things in nature, I have the option to continue growing… Theoretically, that’s what the artist does, pushes themselves to become more that they thought they were.
All around me, I’m noticing the perdicatablity of the human experience in general, and well… I reject it. I am profoundly bored by knowing that when I wake up tomorrow, it’ll be eerily similar to yesterday. Yuck! All these new things are happening and I’m truly excited by them.
I’m inches away from completing my business plan. Just the financial statement to go. My friend, and advisor compared it to watching water drip–anyone else find Chinese Water Torture interesting? Hmm…didn’t think so. But, in anycase, number crunching is important! It also gives me the incentive to contact people who’ve expressed intrest in Hot Pies & Tart, LLC. in the past. It is quite simple to meet people collect business cards and never call them again. But, it’s really important to keep up with people who express interest in what you do.
Secondly, my passion is coming to get  me. “Oh…there’s no business like show business, like no business I know….” All around me people are talking about independent film, theatre and music. I’m unwittingly emersing myself back into the entertainment industry. Best blunder I’ve ever made! Wooo Hooo!
There’s this illusion that gets perpetrated that says, that you cannot pursue your dream because it’s too scary, the dream is too big and the risk too high. So, then we settle into these jobs working for a company that’s safe, getting a regular paycheck that most times isn’t enough. We see people that have this innate ability to tap into our last nerve, and next thing you know we’re on anti-depressants. All because we wanted to be “safe”. But, seriously folks…what are we afraid of? What’s the threat? Truth: there isn’t one. There’s only the naysayers, that say you cannot be successful following your heart, your passion and you–you believe them. Surely they know what their talking about, because they’ve tried and failed. Or, have they? I find that naysaying is more of a spectator sport than anything else. How can you truly know the outcome of your efforts if they begin and end with yapping?
I’m from Jacksonville, NC. And, when in highschool, it was my dream to study acting at New York University. Which at the time seemed like a huge deal to people. I guess because New York is supposed to be intimidating or whatever. But, dude… that’s where I went. I’ve pounded pavement as an actor, worked in corporate america for money. And, when I say money, that’s what I mean–I never thought about having a career there. I was thrusted into the throws of producing and directing, thinking I had no idea what I was doing. But, apparently, my ability to sell a good idea is exactly what it takes to be a producer. So…here I am, all type A/artsy/esoteric Monica…watching my universe expand and all I can think is… “Damn, I have a lot ground to cover I need to get going!”  Much to do, much to be…stay tuned.
Love Peace Happiness N One,
SunDeevah

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