Oh for the love of rainbow unicorns! For anyone who thinks that the conscious, awakened and aware lightworker skips through life on a wave of yum all the time… I just want to you know–you’re nuts! LMAO! No, seriously…it’s not us, it’s you! We know that the unknown is and will be uncomfortable at times. We know that there’s times where we genuinely want to smile at everyone we meet, and there will be those moments, although rare, where we don’t want to look at you at all! There! I said it, and, it’s true! Mwahahahaha! All though we’re shinning happy spirits all the time, there’s this little thing called being human that offers challenges to ascension. I am happy all the time, at my core. I’m radiating all the time, at my core… I’m dancing like no one is watching all the time, at my core. But, it is also true that sometimes while integrating, letting go, detoxing, removing and releasing… my ass is wearing cranky pants! And, you know what?? I’m not sorry. This is a process, this is work… this is development. And, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times… This ain’t for cry babies, whiners, complainers, victims or people who like to yammer pretending they are “doing” something.
I had a very odd weekend… It was a weekend of shifting. It was so weird, that I cannot define it. All I know is that a layer of something came off, at the same time, the ground beneath me seemed to move when I wasn’t looking. My mind was in such shock, and in such a tizzy of anxiety that it–my mind, found my last nerve, and got a severe talking to. After that–I just ignored her, she gets out of hand, and it’s exhausting to try an reason with her and all the stupid questions of “what?”, “why?”, “who?” Honestly… who fucking cares, mind?! Truly, when has logic ever worked in these scenarios?! When have you ever figured it out, while it’s happening?? Right, NEVER! So, do shut up! Needless to say, I avoid people during these times… Everyone will have a bout of crazy, there’s no need to take anyone with you. Hahaha!
My odd weekend left me with even less patience for bullshit… I’m so bored with bullshit in most of its forms that I find that I cannot even speak on it. I find that my eyes roll, and I find the nearest exit. Mama, is just not interested in your drama, your make-believe issues, and why you can’t seem to get your shit together, but, can find a lot of energy to complain about it. Again… Do shut up! I know what you’re thinking, “Monica, haven’t you said this before?!” I know! So, imagine my surprise when I found that I still had patience to lose?! 🙂
Spirituality isn’t glamorous, people. I’m tired of people pretending as if its a brilliant diamond naturally. Have you noticed that there’s no such thing as a natural brilliant diamond? Diamonds are basically evolved pieces of coal kicked out of puking volcanoes… They wait for thousands of years in dirt, heat, and pressure in the belly of a mountain, and then on no day in particular, the volcano erupts, and the diamonds are freed. By the time we find a diamond, it’s already been on a long journey. Glamorous, right? No…not yet. Once a diamond is found, someone with a good idea, great imagination, and excellent skill looks into this rock and sees the glamour inside. Then, the diamond has to be cleaned, cut, cut, and cut again… Then polished until finally…all that’s left is clarity and brilliance. Yes, finally after all the torture of time, pressure, and work, the diamond has reached is highest state. Are you getting me here? This is your story, this is my story. So, to gloss over this amazing story, and rush to the end, is a disservice to you, your efforts, all the souls that helped and guided you here. Not to mention, is a full out lie to those who trudging behind you in their own journey.
Now, breathe for a second… A diamond is always brilliant at its core, but, it takes quite a bit of work to get there… Hmm… I am brilliant at my core, and it’s taking a lot of work to be brilliant while still being human… YES… yes… you’re getting it now. Getting to the diamond core of ourselves couldn’t possibly be a never-ending party in the way we think of parties. It’s just…unnatural, not to mention…just plain boring!
So, my people, my loves, fellow creations in all that there is… This is where I am, or have been, as it were. I’m over the smoke, mirrors, and illusions of glamour. I am committed to just BE-ing, and doing it both honestly, and truthfully, no matter how it might look to others. Along with my loss of patience for people, I’ve also lost even more interest in what other people think of me. When you’re me–which is impossible, by the way– perhaps then, I’ll care. 🙂 But, I wouldn’t bet on that either.
While all of this change, transformation, and transmutation is happening… Within the complaining, whining and screaming of my poor little mind, there is this stillness, this radiant knowing that states with such clarity… “I AM that I AM!” And, that is all there to it. 😉
Love Peace Happiness N One,
Monica
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