I am without a doubt a complicated little soul, okay…big soul. I tend to take up a lot of space in my 5’3 (barely) frame. And, my first reaction to most things are positive. Actually, that’s my second and third reaction, too. In fact, my reaction remains positive for such an extraordinary period of time, some people think it will never run out. And, then…IT DOES! And, it always will. On that you can bet. And, one might argue–“But, how am I suppose to know that?!” And, the answer is simple: LISTEN TO ME! I come with warning labels people. I’ll tell you I’m getting sick of repeating myself, of dealing with the same bullshit, of extending you kindness, respect and courtesy, and then… WHAM! I’m out! And, no, we can’t discuss it, and no, you can’t talk me out of it, and no, I can’t give you one more chance! Because chances are you got that, and screwed that up too.
Now, as of late, I’ve kinda reached a point where I’m “allowing with force and vigor” on all fronts. What does that mean? That means, if you tell me you’re going to do something and then you don’t, after mentioning it to you once or twice… One day… POOF! I’m gone. And, when you figure it out, I’m onto the next thing, person, situation, excetera. And, I could give a rat’s ass that you’re sorry in hindsight. Will I feel bad for you? Yes. Especially if you’re hurting…but, seriously, I’m nobody’s messiah… I am Cheerleader! I will cheer you on as you brave the unknown of discovering yourself amidst all the winds of fury and change that comes with life. I’ll give you all the wisdom this young sage has. I’ll listen to you… hell, I’ll even cry with you. But, if at the end of all that you’re still sitting at square one??? Um…yeah, I gotta go. And, I’ll see you when you decided to DO something rather than ponder it. Pissed at me? Join the freaking club! I’m told the line is very long, you might need a number at this point.
I’m constantly being told that the way I go about life isn’t normal. That my expecting people to tell the truth, live their mantra, and honor their word is slightly out there… Yeah? Really? Maybe… I mean, we only have all these holy books, constitutions, essays, studies, articles, policies and procedures to fill pages of books to smack eachother over the head with! I mean… we weren’t supposed to actually live that way, right? I mean, aren’t morals and mores just some nice words being exhaled by some egotistical elder, preacher, teacher, parent, philosopher, president, business person, or…someone like that? I mean, they weren’t supposed to ever be a way of life, were they? Nah…couldn’t be. Nope, they were just supposed to be smoke we blew up eachother’s asses, to seperate ourselves from the rest of the animal kingdom! –Language is to be utilized, but, not practiced! Right? –Sorry…that doesn’t work for me, I really do have a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aversion to lying, and liars! Compassion for you??? Yes, without question. But, want you in my inner-circle??? Um… hell to the no, no, NO!
One might think with this off-the-wall kind of thinking and way of being that I’d have no friends, no loved ones and would constantly be fretting being alone. And, I can assure you that–that isn’t the case. I’m loved, and I love deeply! I don’t believe anyone who knows me questions my word, they know what the deal is, and they know that there is a trip-wire for an end-game. People are gifts, not toilet paper… You cannot “crunch all you want and we’ll make more.” No, each person is a treasure, an energy that you’ll never meet again in this lifetime, get it?! And, if you ruin it, abuse it, or misuse it intentionally in anyway…there will be consequences. And, if you’re lucky it’ll just be that you never talk to that person again, because sometimes… it’s more like a huge catalyst that sets off an earthquake of imminent self-destruction. –I wonder, when people say bad things happen to them, do they every bother to follow the bread crumbs back to the source? Do you?! I doubt it… I mean, I could tell you what the source is, but… if you wanted to know, you’d take that walk. Just know this–there’s no getting over, and every cause has an effect (somewhere). But, hey, you don’t have to listen to me, because I’m not even participating in this reality.
Love Peace Happiness N One,