Oh, yikes!!! Just when I was starting to get the hang of all this. I was forced to reflect on the possibility that…Zoinks–I’m not good at swimming in the shallows of the psyche. In fact, I absolutely do not like it there. It makes me uncomfortable. I pooh-poohed on those whose brains do not enjoy the unknown depths of who we might be. But, the truth is–the shallows are important and I should respect it a bit more.
I’m a thinker, I analyze, I ponder, I wonder… I— You get the point, right? I’m hardcore about my brain. As much as I meditate, as much as I can appreciate the gorgeousness in a blade of grass; I’m also wondering about all the cells in that single blade of grass. Do they think the same? Are they conversing right now? Did it hurt when I pulled it from the earth? Well???
This is my normal. I was that kid who asked questions to the point of annoyance. And, I’m now, that adult who asks questions to the point of annoyance. lol!!! And, while it is my normal, and I quite like it– I do believe that I’ve forgotten how to speak the other language. And, by that, I mean, thoroughly enjoying where I am right now–being there without probing for what might be next.
It’s a delicate balance because, I have no fear of the unknown. I’ve learned to become comfortable with it. But, I’m also a planning-control freak. I like asking questions, and I want the answer right now. But, much my to my chagrin, not everyone functions this way. Some people relax really well. They can just be where they are and not probe the depths of themselves, the world, or each other. I don’t do that. And, sometimes, I should. Sometimes, it would be most beneficial for me to just —lighten up.
When I say “lighten up”, it doesn’t mean I don’t laugh. I laugh all the time. Or, have fun, or live life. Because I do, mostly with abandon, and without caring how it’s viewed by others. What it means is…I don’t really need all the answers right now. Even if I had the answers, it doesn’t necessarily mean, they will be what I want. So, rather than rushing to get to the end, perhaps it would be better to savor the journey a bit more.
What it all boils down to is adjustments–growth… I’m still a work in progress. There’s still so much for me to learn about myself, and more work required to become more than I was yesterday. I’m really good with this new attitude toward the shallows of the psyche. Not so much from a selfish, material, standpoint. But, as a way to simplify life from a psychological perspective. I think of it as a form of meditation. While I’m analyzing a blade of grass, wondering about what it’s doing–it’s just being a blade of grass, beautiful, green and part of something much bigger than itself. And, that–that I can fully appreciate.
Love Peace Happiness N One.