One of the recurring themes in a life of enlightenment, awareness, and the journey of remembering yourself aka ascension, is division. What I mean by that is, as you add to yourself, you will be constantly tested with the choice as to whether you must divide yourself from others. When it first becomes apparent, it is scary, frustrating, painful, and very much a human experience. I say this because from a awareness level, you realize, there is no division. But, this is not the kind of wisdom we can impose onto one another.
Many still live in the realm of duality, of black or white, of winning and losing, or you versus me. And, this is their prerogative, it is their choice. And, it should be honored, no matter what. The problem with duality is it lacks the honoring of the individual, it criticizes the divine within each of us, that insists on not only being heard, but, lived. Duality is of heard mentality, or horde, depending on the situation. Duality erodes the desire for us to take care of ourselves on a soul level first. We are taught from a very early age that the group matters more than the individual. We are taught that taking care of yourself is selfish, that self-sacrifice brings you closer to God, to salvation… We are taught suffering is good.
In choosing to remember your divinity, you will be an unintentional threat to everyone you hold dear by your very existence. When you learn the importance, the sacredness, and the necessity of the word, “no”, the result will undoubtedly cause resentment in others. Using your voice to speak your truth, and living your life to express your truth tears at the very fabric of many belief systems, traditions, and power structures. Your saying “No”, will plant the seed in the hearts and minds of many as to why they are saying “Yes”. How is it that your “No” has made you so much happier, care-free, and has given you so much grace, when “No” is supposed to be bad? Your self-love will shine a light on those who not only do not love themselves, but, resent you for having the strength, the courage, the audacity to break the chain and free yourself.
Belief systems and traditions, are boundaries created around us, forming a small box in which we must try and fit ourselves. I will tell you now, the box is first fitted with your first breath, and your childhood is where you are taught that living in a box is what you should be doing. I must confess, even as I child I knew this was wrong. I could not articulate it yet, but, the lack of air, of freedom to be myself, and the lack of support for speaking on my behalf caused a great resentment in me from a young age. And, I’m so grateful for it. If it weren’t for the tight noose of family and society as a whole, I would’ve never turned my anger into action and sought my truth and freedom. That being said, my insistence on being Monica as I create her, has caused many rifts in my relationships with family, friends and romantic partners alike. I chose a very long time ago, that I would be me so that I could be at peace with myself, so I could be happy. And, being myself means, I speak against being ruled, manipulated, violated, mistreated or disrespected.
In my refusal to be apart of the crowd, to be normal, or malleable, I annoy some people, and inspire others. And, while I could find amusement in both, I honestly do not put much thought into either. What I have learned in being myself without giving thought to the horde is— I am a better person to others, because I know it doesn’t take away from me being good to myself. Funny how we pick and choose who we are good to, who deserves kindness, mercy, respect, grace, goodness. My approach is until proven otherwise all in creation deserves my best, and in return I deserve their best. Again, a division could result in such an approach. Who am I to require that people treat me with the best of themselves? I AM divine– the catch is, I know that I am, I live from this place, and I will accept nothing less than what the divine in me deserves. Needless to say a lot responses from others vary from, “That’s awesome” to, “Who does she think she is? She thinks she’s all that!” For the record: I AM all that, and so much more. T’is pity not everyone is aware of that within themselves. Isn’t it?
Ego is the temperamental child that cries when it’s not getting what it wants, when it wants, and how it wants from who it wants. It is the brat that say, “I do what I want, to whom I want, how I want.” And, the reality is: You do what people let you get away with, and nothing more. Too many are allowing themselves to be both the abuser and the abused, because they were taught that will give them salvation. I disagree. For me, salvation is the now I am living, the love I am living in, the light that emanates from my very being. I’ve already got my halo around my head– I’ve seen it. I AM enlightened. So, if you prefer to be disembodied before you get yours… Namaste. 😉 But, understand what you choose for yourself will divide you from others, whether it be because you are loving yourself first, or they are loving themselves least. Both are acceptable, perfect and divine. It’s like any journey– not all of us begin at the same time, walk at the same pace, nor will we finish at the same time. But, in the end… we’ll all get there. Which is where I find the most lovely comfort of all. …And, so it is.
Love, Peace Happiness N One,