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Okay… the synchronicity in my life never gets old… I feel like I cut away icky, sticky, so-called peeps as much as I take out the garbage. And, truly…I realize that this is part of the ebb and flow of life, but still… I wish that they’d just… GO AWAY!
Seer…Does anyone know what that means? Like, am I speaking an unheard language when I say that? For heaven’s sake, I have an owl tattooed over my ass so you know who I am! I have a tattoo in chinese that translates into “Great Family” on my ankle–it grounds me. And, I have Sam-I-Am tattooed on my inner ankle, so you know I’m persistent. So, tell me… why the fuck, do I still have hopscotch my way over stupid people? Why am I being bothered with people who cannot get their shit together, and then wonder why at some point, we must separate?! Ick is not welcomed here. Please scrub yourself clean of it, if you’d like to be apart of my life, and vice versa.
Last week, I got a text message from someone I was really good friends with. This person is monetarily “successful”. But, for the life of her, she cannot keep, nor attract “good friends”. And, what I noticed over the the ten years we were close, was the people she called her friends were always damaged somehow. They were in abusive relationships, or, had a drinking problem, or, a drug problem, a mental problem, a emotional problem… You name it, she had a friend for it. And, over the years, our friendship grew apart. I am not a perpetual partier, never was… But, when I do party, I make good memories. “Memories”, meaning: I didn’t black-out during the experience. Anyhoo, in my experience and opinon, the people who are constantly partying are the same people who try  avoid reality, responsibility and accountablity at all costs! And, one fine day…they CRASH! And, wonder why they are so miserable and lonely. Last time I talked to that former friend over two years ago, she told me she had just gotten over a really bad cocaine problem. How funny, that when I recieved her text message about a party last week, she didn’t return my phone call. Yeah…whatever…don’t have time for it.
AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR NOW???! I don’t have the time, the energy, or the interest in KNOWING people who are flying south for the… Well, shit, their entire lives! If you’re going down, take someone else with you. I’m not going! I have no intention of going! I cannot be talked into going, nor fooled into going! HELLO!!!! If that makes me selfish…uh…okay. If it makes me seem cold-hearted, well…I’d have to laugh. Seriously, what’s worse, trying to drag someone down with you, or…allowing someone you care about to hit rock bottom in hopes that it won’t kill them, but, make them heed the lesson?! Yeah…not dying for anyone, either!
It amazes me how people think I’m some sort of goody-two-shoes, or, a hard-ass, or, self-righteous or whatever… What?! Because, I don’t want to climb into The Belljar with you?! Because I understand that if I’m miserable, it’s my OWN DAMN FAULT! Because I don’t allow myself to half-ass my way through life?! And, I don’t surround myself with such people?! –Yes, being an adult and taking responsiblity for your actions, and taking charge of your life…it really pisses people off. Why? Because you’re guaranteed success…and all they have to show for their efforts is one failed plan, strategy, or hustle after the other… Do me a favor, either grow up, or shut the fuck up! Or… go play with some like-minded “ick”-sters! YOU ARE NOT WELCOMED HERE! And, that was me being “nice” about it! LMAO!!!!
Love Peace Happiness N One,
SunDeevah