I don’t think I’ve made it clear that not only is Conduit of Healing my business per se, but, it’s also a spiritual collective made up of my “spiritual crew”–everything from light beings to ascended masters, angels, and yes, sometimes elementals. The crew is vast, its ever-changing, and we are always seeking growth, ascension and how to be better. It’s the way of the starseed, the lightworker…me.

So about a month ago, while I had been silent here– the crew told me COH, the site, needed an infusion of new energy. But, it was unclear as to how that new energy would be expressed. I’ve learned over the years that sometimes you can make things happen, and you should do that– other times, you should ALLOW things to happen, and work with that particular flow. So, what happened was my site was broken– deliberately broken my former  SEO provider that got upset because I questioned their parasitic practice as to how they make money. Sneaking in a subscription, that I had to “Opt out” of, rather than “Opt in” to. I spent years working in IT in my career as an executive assistant, not to mention being a merchant myself. I know anytime you’re automatically opted-in to something, there’s a conscious effort to get to your money with ease and without your knowledge until it’s too late. When I resisted– the company broke my site when they removed their plug in. The result? The new energy I was told about.  One and half years of material was completely wiped out– that’s eleven blogs, all my podcast recordings and over one hundred pictures.

A younger, less spiritually seasoned version of me would have panicked, lost it, cried and caused a ruckus. But, I’m a master now– a master of me. I realized too late, I didn’t enable a backup of my site, so, the material was really lost. But, the opportunity in front of me couldn’t be more clear– I and my web designer needed to rebuild COH. New pictures, updated theme, and a conscious infusion of more Monica’s signature energy.

We are living in a time where the shift has thrown so many, in so many directions. Especially the spiritual community. I’ve seen everything from souls trying desperately to hold onto old methods i.e. crystals that no longer work, meditations that no longer result in the same relaxed feeling, affirmations that get caught in the throat chakra, and gurus who don’t want to admit they are lost. I’ve been watching it for close to two years now. And, I’m going to be honest– I’m relieved. I repeat: I AM RELIEVED.

The spiritual community, or New Age community is NOT IMMUNE to the cosmic shifts of the universe. We have to seek the answers with the new rhythms, flows, and vibrations just like everyone else. And, its past time everyone admitted it. I’m seeing some souls try to float the belief that we can and should live above the struggles of the human experience as social and political turmoil becoming harder to ignore. Some want to “think happy thoughts” and use “positive thinking” as a means to IGNORE the very really purging of darkness from the depths of the earth we walk upon. And, I’m going to be honest in my thoughts on this– its a COP OUT. It’s an abuse of tools, and it’s spiritual-medicating. That’s the thing, if you’re looking to self-medicate in order to escape uncomfortable feelings, experiences, and to disengage–doing it with retreats, workshops, chanting, praying, meditating… doesn’t mean you’re absolved of being part of the problem. Silence IS THE PROBLEM. Ignoring IS THE PROBLEM. Disengaging IS THE PROBLEM. Pretending your aren’t a spirit embodied as a human IS THE PROBLEM. Oneness doesn’t take a day, moment, or lifetime off. If you call yourself part of those of us who incarnated to bring on these very times we are living in; to empower the light within every soul we meet who is willing:  YOU DON’T GET TO HIDE IN YOUR PRACTICE–nor do you get to regurgitate old tools, methods and practices that DO NOT WORK for the sake of money, relevance, or fragile/insecure egos. Just like I had to wait for this site to SHOW ME what was needed, we do have to wait for the universe to SHOW US which way to move next.

What’s happening is the separating of the wheat from the chafe. The spiritual warrior from the spiritual dabbler–those souls who only want the spiritual highs, but, are ill-equipped to work through the dark night of the soul. And, to be plain: YOU CANNOT GET AROUND IT. The peaks and valleys are there to remind you of this. The rising and lowering of the tide is to remind you there must be ups and downs–it’s natural. I have seen those who started with such good intentions in their pursuit to be of service get caught up in the ego-trappings of money, relevance, popularity and power tumble down like the walls of Babylon. They have money, but, they lost their light. They have followers, but, can no longer lead themselves. They continue to move forward, but, have no true north. This is how ascension works with us– all of us. No, light family– we aren’t that special.  This is how the universe balances itself. The challenges come and it is the individual soul of the starseed, lightworker, or unaware human that decides if they will do what it takes to answer the latest Clarion Call. So, yeah… I took and will continue to take time to make sure my ass stays in alignment. I am no help to anyone, if I lose myself. And, let be clear… I will ALWAYS CHOOSE ME. I will ALWAYS CHOOSE LIGHT. It’s been many lives lived for my soul. This one feels like an eternity on a weekly basis at this point. I have and will let go of whatever and whomever I have to– to stay in clear contact with source, and in the flow of universal energy.

If you’re like me– you’re having an odd experience where you’ve never been so unimpressed or spiritually challenged by the outside world. It’s just soooo fucking tedious to deal with people. The sacred space where we radiate our brightest, loudest and unencumbered has never been so important. Several times a week, if not a day– I look outside myself and see chaos, which happens when you’re living in a world going through the greatest detox of your lifetime. But, when I look into myself, my core being– I have never felt so strong, so ready, so bright, so resolved. So, I officially walk in two worlds all the time, and, after much observation, self-work, stripping away what no longer works, or serves me– I’m getting the hang of it. But, guess what?? I need knew tools. I need new ways to think, be, and create. New energy = New Tools. So rather than grabbing a singing bowl, chanting, meditating, charging crystals, affirming, or bugging the hell out of my crew–who are ALSO UPGRADING– I’ve learn to shut the fuck up, and allow the universe the time that already belongs to it– to inspire me to do things. Doing this requires something that far too many of us have lost: INTUITION. So, if yours is rusty, and you have to have a guru– this is what they should be guiding you to do– remembering how to discover, use and above all TRUST your intuition, so, that one day you won’t need them. Ultimately– none of us are supposed to be lead by anyone, but, ourselves. But, if they tell you that, they are going to lose money. So let’s make that a rule of light awareness shall we? If your spiritual teacher isn’t guiding you to eventually LEAVE THEM–they ARE NOT working in your best and highest good. Controversial… I know. But, truth oftentimes is.

I am Conduit of Healing– a channel in service to light. I am most happy when I see you, leading yourselves. And, learning who you really are, and how great of a soul you can be– if you choose it. My relevance cannot be measured in dollars, but, in the light that shines in your eyes when you “get” the messages meant for you. That is why I am here.

Love Peace Happiness N One,



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