I am reporting to you while I am in the midst of healing from one of the oddest, most mysterious dances with pain I’ve ever had. Keep reading…
I had an excellent weekend planned for myself, I was going to go dancing with some friends Saturday night, and on Sunday, I was going to meet a high school friend for brunch. I was really excited as I tend to work so much, that rest becomes my main focus, but, this weekend, I was looking forward to socializing.
It had already been an interesting week. I had watch time beginning to align– 1:11, 11:11, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, 5:55… Over and over all week. And, the nights were completely restless. No matter how tired I was, or, how early I went to bed, I spent the majority of the week not getting quality sleep. I knew something was happening… I’d seen this before. Usually, when things are like this, it means something is going on in the cosmos. And, of course there was. The energies had begun to align for the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on April 4th– Saturday.
Friday night when I laid down on my couch, I was quite exhausted. It wasn’t that my body was tired, it was that my spirit was tired. Thinking was exhausting, communication was exhausting… staying awake was exhausting, so, I allowed myself to fall asleep. I can tell you that what happened next started shortly after my dinner. I have been on an anti-candida diet for years. And, when an anti-fungal hits the stomach, there can be a physical reaction as the death of the overgrowth of fungus aka yeast happens. So, when I felt the slight discomfort on the left side of my abdomen… I thought nothing of it. I had been through something similar before, and with enough water, and rest it goes away. But, apparently, this wasn’t anything like that.
When I woke up to a text message in the middle of the night, I realized, it was time for me to move to my actual bed. I sat up, and immediately felt excruciating pain in my side– something was wrong. I tried to get up, again, shooting excruciating pain. What the fuck was going on with me? I could barely stand erect, and walking was extremely painful. I shuffled, as I couldn’t really walk, to my kitchen and got out all of my natural anti-inflammatory supplements, and creams out. I took the supplements, rubbed in some of my shea butter mixture that I made and went to bed. And, that’s when a whole other slew of problems began. Turns out, it hurt to get into the bed, sleeping on my side was impossible and after a lot struggling to flip, shimmy and fold myself into comfort, I was able to fall asleep.
Saturday morning I woke up to my cats, like I was always do. Except this time, I seriously cannot roll over, I cannot sit up, and breathing is now difficult. I began giving myself reiki. Through the reiki I was able to sense a couple of things: 1. The muscle affected was deep inside my abdomen, and it was hard to get to. 2. This pain didn’t belong in this reality. With that realization, I continue to look deeply into myself… What was going on? I found that the pain was coming from a past life trauma, and that it was deeply embedded into the blue print that is me. It had to do with security, as it was linked to my solar plexus also known as the manipura. And, now was the time for this long, old, deep pain to be release, but, it was going to hurt on its way out.
To tell you that I was in pain is an understatement. Not only was I in physical pain, but, every moment, sent shocks through my entire system. But, because I am who I am, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Sadly, there would be no dance party for me that night. I had to forgo a lot of things in order to deal with this. My apartment wasn’t going to get cleaned. I had to breathe deeply, listening to my cats upchuck hairballs and do nothing to clean my floor. That particularly sucked. But, I had to feed them. It was painful, but, my cats needed to eat, as did I. So, through deep breaths, out bursts of pain, and carefully practiced yoga-styled bending, I got some basic things done. No one starved, but, this was getting ridiculous. I decided I was going to need help. I had already text my best friend to come help me. And, after a quick phone call, she generously offered to bring me food. She cleaned the dishes in my sink, and yes, even the cat puke. Yes, she’s angel, but, I too, am hers… But, I digress.
While waiting for my friend to come, I was able to get to my couch and as I sat there in pain, I felt a lot of energy working around and through me. Despite the pain, I found the humor in this. It’s time to upgrade, upgrade can mean discomfort. How do we facilitate an upgrade with ease? Deep breathe your ass off! LOL! So, I sat there with my crew huddled close, and I breathed, and breathed and breathed. Every insight that came to me got posted on social media. My happiness, my gratitude, my frustration got posted. Perhaps people won’t need this as I’m giving it, but, they will need it. At one point, I stopped breathing long enough to burst out into laughter, and then immediately tears. As, I laughed through the tears, I was telling my crew, how insane this whole ascension process is, and, the wide range of emotions I was experiencing at the time. It was never a question of why? No, I don’t really ask why anymore. The question becomes, “What do I need to do to get to the other side of this.” After quite a while of breathing, crying and laughing, I settled down on the couch, with a very heavy cat laying on me. And, out of nowhere, while watching TV, I felt the smallest, slightest “pop” deep in my side, and then…energy flow. From that one little pop, a tidal wave of energy went flying directly to my heart chakra or anahata. And, it burst wide-open. It was so open that I felt all of the energy of, well everything… I felt love so overwhelming that all I could do was cry, and cry, and sob. I sobbed until I was choking. I was crying that the pain was leaving and healing was beginning. But, most of all I was crying in gratitude. This is the life I chose for myself, when I said, “Yes”, to consciousness. I was/am going through a massive upgrade and I am present for all of it. What a blessing!
After my dear friend fed me and cleaned my sacred lily pad (my home), I decided to take the advice of doctor’s post on the internet and another friend, and started icing my back. I also, took a pain killer. At this point, I had done everything I’d known to do, all that was left was more reiki, more breathing, and allowing things to run their course. I iced my back for all of Saturday evening, and slept with an ice pack too– and honestly, didn’t feel the slightest bit of cold. The inflammation was so bad that half of my lower back looked like a small mountain. I slept so well that it felt like a luxury item.
Sunday… yes, Easter Sunday, yes, Passover Sunday… I woke up and felt different. I was able to roll over in the bed without pain… I sat up, with no pain, it wasn’t until I got out of bed, that I had a small pain, in the lower region of my spine– right where the manipura is. The root of the pain was still purging. I immediately made peace with it, and began testing what I could do. I can touch my toes… good. I can feed the cats, awesome. I can make coffee… hallelujah! I could now think about getting things done that I take for granted: 1. Showering. 2. Laundry. 3. Grocery shop. 4. Cleaning cat puke off the floor.
So, as I write this too you now, I feel lighter, I am happier and I have more clarity than ever. And, I am a bit more worry free. This was my latest upgrade. I am ascending to yet another refined vibration, it’s filled with healing and love– there is a wisdom here, that brings tears to the eyes. There is a knowing that no matter what… I’ll be fine, because I can let go of what no longer serves me.
Pain doesn’t serve us well if we keep it. Pain reminds us of what happens when we hold onto too long to things, that need to leave. Whether it be beliefs, relationships, ways of being… If you don’t let go, you cannot grow. If you don’t let go… pain will take away your ability to move through your life until you are left with no other choice, but, to face it and deal with it, or be dealt with.
If you study this particular full moon eclipse in the sign of Libra ( my sun sign), you’ll find that releasing old energies, is exactly what it was designed to do. Did I know before my “upgrade”? No. I just knew change was coming, in fact, I posted on social media a few days ago. “Hello change, welcome! Give me a hug!” Ahem… I’m thinking bear hugs might be less painful. Hahahaha!!!! I didn’t need to know the details of this lunar eclipse. I felt it happening. I felt what was happening in my body, and I trusted myself to move through it to be in alignment with all there is. So, please… keep that in mind when you want to resist pain. When you do not let go of your pain, you are no longer in alignment, and to be misaligned, is to welcome in energies that will keep you going in the wrong direction.
I hope this has helped some of you find the courage needed to release whatever old hurts and pain you’ve been caring around. Whether it be from this life, or lives long gone by. Now, is the time to let it all go.
Love Peace Happiness N One,