I’m so excited this coming weekend, I’m turning 35. Unlike most of my female counterparts, I’m not scared. I’m excited to continue pursuing my life with more passion than ever. I look at myself, and not only am I happy with my reflection, I’m very proud of it.
My 35 will be hoootttt!!!! Fire! Fire! And, it will be lived to the pleasure of myself, to my expectations, and any one who doesn’t like it can exit stage left, right, or center… it doesn’t matter just get off MY DAMN STAGE! LOL!
My momma, the day after her birthday party complimented me about who I am as a woman. She said I was wonderful, and extraordinary. And, some of the hard decisions, I’ve made in my life, she isn’t sure she would’ve made. That was very cool of her, but, it was also a compliment to herself, as whether we like it or not, our immediate family has impact and influence in how we view the world. And, it’s up to us to decide if their views will be ours, or if we’ll strike out on our own, and carve our own path!
Me??? I’m DEFIANT! The only shoes I like to walk in are my own (black 4 inch stillettos please. lol). The only path I want to walk is the one I’m in the midst of blazing! When I look at the other humans, I see hamsters on treadmills–running, running, running… and not going any damn where, really fucking fast! And, that is why you worry about every wrinkle on your face, every silver strand on your head, and whether or not those jeans make you look fat! The surface of humanhood captivates, and traps the attention of the shallow. And, it sad, because there’s so much more to the show.
What will my 35 mean? It will mean, that shallow means bath water, not people. It means, I don’t have the time or interest in engaging you in conversation. If you cannot find enough interest in yourself to dig deep, why should I? If you don’t know that you’re an individual energy in the universe, with its own signature, without duplication… If you don’t know, and you don’t live that way–I sure as hell am not going to tell you. Some people really do like the boriness of life, they think the pain of it helps them fit in, makes them normal, and acceptable. To me, it just looks like a whole bunch of souls sad, confused, and struggling to be something that is utterly impossible—the same. You’ll NEVER be alike. Never, never, never! And, yet, all of these sad, lost, lonely souls continue to try. At first, I had compassion for people who thought this way. But, now… not so much. Now, I just think they are willingly crazy. And, yes, insanity is a choice.
You have to know when you’ve done enough, when you’ve given enough. You have to know. And, I have. I’ve given, and now, it’s time to go. So, 35 means, to gather more of my own personal power and move foward. It means that now more than ever, I will not be looking for a leader. I will BE the leader. It means that I no longer am searching for a teacher, or guru. I know that I AM my own teacher, and guru. I’m no longer looking for the answers, I AM the answer. Needless, to say, this way of being goes against what society, family and all sorts of institutions teach us to believe. But, I think most of them are lying. And, my proof is, the utter misery, torture and unending saddness most people deal with on a daily basis. The constant need to be distracted, medicated, lied to, lied for, lying… I’ve never wanted it before, and, now, I don’t even want it near me. So, if this sounds like you…I don’t want you in my life. I honor your expression of freewill, but, I don’t have to deal with it, as that is how I choose to excercise my freewill. Namaste…and happy 35 to me!
Love Peace Happiness N One,