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(singing) “I see Magenta grids… Blue-green ones too… I see them glow, against the full moon… And, I think to myself, what a wonderful world…”
I’m tired. Who else is tired? There’s a reason why we don’t physically evolve in one day, but, over thousands of years. I’m convinced, it would kill us!
I don’t know how butterflies do it! But, that is why they are the Native American symbol for courage. Can you imagine taking a nap one day, and then being in a coma for a few months, only to wake up looking and feeling completely different?! Or, what about Starfish? They regrow appendages–that’s gotta be painful! Or, how about snakes shedding their skin?
Okay, I know we humans have our first teeth, splitting cells, voice changing, hormonal things. But, I still think we don’t do as gracefully as all the other souls on the planet. Why? It’s simple: we DON’T rest enough. We don’t respect the need to be quiet, still and possibly asleep as we evolve. We like to play hurt. As if one can heal that way. It’s stupid, I know, but, we do it.
I got my first “energy blast” back when I was about…hmm…26? Yep, straight to the third eye. The pain was awful! As, I was then married to someone who was as open-minded as I am, he was cool about having to physically hold me up sometimes. And, sometimes, I wouldn’t be able to move for a while.
The emotional rollercoaster of change has been unbelievable. Kuthumi has that wonderful joke, “A funny thing happened on the way to the ascension… I lost everything!” LOL… I’ve heard it many times at this point, but, I laugh everytime. Because, omg is it true. Everything changes…and nothing matters, while everything matters! Time is boring, most people are boring, you’re boring to yourself. And, this is good. Why? Because if you aren’t bored by what  you already know, how will you feel the urge to seek?
Also, I don’t know if it’s the insomnia, exhaustion or what… But, I grew the biggest sense of humor when it comes to myself. My quirks (and, there’s a lot of them) are a source of great amusement for me. But, I’m also even more sensitive to other people’s pain. Most pain, is self-inflicted. Whether it’s not freeing yourself from an abusive situation, circumbstance or belief-system, to being promiscious, a cutter, drug addict, or alcoholic, or… People are in pain. And, what hurts the most for me, is the knowledge that they could heal at any time, if only they chose to heal. I think we’ve become a world addicted to pain, so we can promote the idea that happiness isn’t an attainable goal. And, that way, we can stay blissfully miserable. Utilzing absolutely no resistance to the wave of misery that has been dominating the ethers for way too long.
Change is a hard decision to make, but, to me change is growth and growth is life. Some people survive, while others live. I have always had to live. Survival to me, is the equavalent of having just enough air in a box, so you don’t suffocate. Horrible!–a slow death in itself. I have to BREATHE. I have to have own my SPACE. Even being statuesqe at 5’2.25…I require a lot of space. There’s a lot going on in here.
Let’s see…
Growing up angry to evolve into happy…
Growing up self-destructive to evolve into indestructable (?)…
Growing up thinking I had masculine hands…evolving into vibrating hands…
Growing up wearing glasses… evolving to seeing in the dark…
Growing up afraid to love…evolving into loving EVERYBODY!
Growing up impatient and insecure… evolving into monk-ish type patience and very confident to my core.
I wouldn’t say I’m finished, but, I would say I’m off to a great start–even by my own high standards. It’s like I say to my “students”, or whomever will listen to me: “You don’t have to make it pretty, you just have to get there!” LOL… I say this, because I live this.
Okay…back to receptive deep breathing…
 
Love Peace Happiness N One,
SunDeevah