I was sitting at my kitchen table drinking my morning coffee today… When in the silence of myself, I felt it. It was a small, slight pang in my abdomen. It wasn’t in my stomach, but, to the right of it. As quiet as it was, in my own silence I felt it–this unease, this anxiety addressing me and waiting to be released. When I breathed into my body, when I located it and concentrated on listening to what it was, I heard it clearly say, “I am fear”. And, I smiled. My smile was one of gratitude. I am the type of person who has very few fears and doubts of herself, that is a testament to many years of working on my core self. In my view of me, it’s not that I cannot do anything its a question of, “Is this what I really want to invest time and energy in, or, is this me attempting to meet the expectations of society?”
This fear, though small, and, up until now, unperceivable was this small messenger letting me know, “We are on the verge of an upgrade of greatness. And, I’ve been holding this place of self-doubt and fear, to let you know, we are almost there.” My immediate reaction was to listen… I needed to listen to my fear, so, that it could leave, so that it could transform into flowing energy rather than stuck energy. What I learned from it–is that it was tired of being stuck, tired of being fear, tired of holding this energy inside my body. It needed me to acknowledge it so it could leave. As a reiki master, my first reaction was to apply reiki to the place it was stuck. This allows any blocks to be loosened, removed and create a path for the fear to leave. I felt the “knot” move from right to left. Slowly it was heading toward my Manipura also known as the Solar Plexus–this is the chakra where fear, self-worth, and personal power reside. And, it is also, the charka that my fear intended to leave from.
I sat myself down to meditate, talk to my crew and give voice and attention to my fear– it had shifted from it’s location closer to its exit, but, not yet left. So, I asked it, “What can I do for you? What is the message you have for me?’ And, the first response was, “Listen. Listen to me.” So, what was the message? “You are upgrading again, to someone even greater than you were before. You are about to have a flood of blessings and success… and, I have been here holding the small place of self-doubt that you could not do it. But, that time is over, you know you can do it, you are doing it, and therefore, I am not longer needed. I want to leave, I want to go be happy, I want to expand, I want to be free.” I breathed that message in deeply and briefly reflected on my entire life. There has been no shortage of miracles, impossible feats, and sheer brilliance of soul-expression in my life. I have done things that I said I could do, but, not always sure how I’d do it. And, yet, the universe has always answered, guided and cleared the way for me to manifest my co-creations. This is what magic means to me, working in concert with all there is. Listening, applying, showing up, being terrified and acting on faith as if things have already been done.
It was clear I needed to share this insight with you. Fear, like love is both simple and complicated. Complicated because it must travel the great realm of our mind before its simplicity is understood. And, lets face it– the mind is a place of both wonder and chaos when it involves emotion. But, if we have trained ourselves to allow spirit to lead where our mind and body goes… understanding is so much easier. Fear, I learned in this instance is the messenger of the last frontier of ourselves on the way to an upgrade, greatness, or true success… growth. And, if we stop at fear, if we don’t speak on our fear, if we do not acknowledge it, give it voice, listen and RELEASE IT–fear can become a place we can get stuck, we stop, we paralyze ourselves, rather than moving through it to growth.
As I am writing this to you now, My fear is in the center of the Manipura, and, it’s beginning its journey outward, as the rest of me begins the process of upgrade. The place where the fear hid within my abdomen is healing, it’s filling with breath– because breath is how things flow in our energetic bodies, our light bodies, our physical bodies. So, when I say– don’t forget to breath, it’s the same as, get into the divine flow. It’s a conscious choice to get into the alignment with the universe. So, yes, no matter what, there will be some level of fear before an upgrade. But, when we understand it’s part of the process… we can choose to make it as easy as possible for ourselves. There is no upgrade without working through fear. I repeat: There is NO UPGRADE without working through FEAR. You’ve got this… even when you think you don’t.
Love Peace Happiness in ONE,