First a little shout out to TLC, because the song “Friends” is definitely singing in the ether for me this morning…
So, what about your friends, people? Who are they, and what role do they really hold in your life? We’re not talking just about your friends you hang with…We’re talking about the friends you’re romancing with too. Is it me, or has the whole idea of friendship gone down the drain, and sinking to the bottom of our consciousness? People don’t value relationships like they used to, do they? We are in a society that is so… what’s the word??? Narcissistic. Me. Me. Me. ME! What’s in it for ME?! How does this affect ME?! Wait, does this affect ME?! Okay, back to ME! <<< As you can see, that might be a problem, if you’re trying to involve another person in your “ME” party– assuming you want to keep them around!
I personally know quite a lot of people. But, I have a very tight circle of friends. These aren’t people I just see when I’m out partying– in case you didn’t know– that is NOT a friend! These aren’t people that I call when I want do the following: Bitch, moan, complain about my life, my life, and oh… me. And, then, hang up the phone! And, these aren’t the people I only befriend for the following; further my career, my personal goals, my dreams, my social standing, my self-esteem. None of those things represent friendship, and if some one, or a lot of people are doing that in your life, I need to let you know— those aren’t your friends. Those are energy vampires! And, so, if you feel sufficiently drained after hanging out with your “friends”, then, you need to know your “friend” is really an energy “parasite”.
What we’ve forgotten is that relationships of all kinds require you to be present, open, honest, respectful, honorable, accepting, loving and the big one: forgiving. –Not just for the other person, but, yourself as well. People don’t understand that a true friendship requires you to be honest about who you are– to yourself first, and others second. Listen, if you need someone else to “come up on”– you’re a hot mess alone, and with another person, you’ll be a hot mess with impending drama. People aren’t stupid. They can pretend to be, ignore things, or avoid things, but, we always know the truth of any and all situations. Situations built on lies will always crumble.
If you cannot have a heart to heart with the people you spend the most time with– you are going to starve. And, by that I mean emotional starvation. If you cannot speak from your heart, if you cannot have human dilemma/challenges/confusion/triumph conversations with another person– a. What the hell are you talking about? b. Why are you wasting your time with this?? I mean, let’s be honest–there’s few things that exact the kind of pain a meaningless, empty relationship does. When you have to work at a conversation with someone– this should be a huge red flag. If a person cannot divulge themselves to anyone, if they cannot show who they really are– there’s a problem. –Not your problem, their problem. There’s a lot of so-called “private” people who are really just “ashamed” of who they are, where they came from, etcetera, etcetera. There are also some people who are so afraid of themselves, that they really can’t have any kind of relationship without being altered somehow: ie. drugs, drinking, smoking, snorting… you know what I’m saying. They dislike themselves so much, they cannot be themselves ever– even when they are alone. So, some people try to avoid being alone all together.
So, truly… what’s the problem?? The problem, like most problems are on a spiritual level. The human ego–good lord, if we could just get it to calm down, relax, chill the fuck out! 🙂 The ego over many, many, way too many lifetimes, has been given too much power and emphasis. By design? Perhaps. But, the havoc created has also been a catalyst for our true selves to scream to the top of its lungs, “This fucking sucks! I hate this! I can’t live like this! I am so sick of living like this! Something has to change!” I have often referred to this as spiritual discontent. And, seriously– that’s what it is. Your friends, your relationships are your very cleaver way of reflecting you back to you. Let me repeat that– You picked these people because you need to either learn something about yourself, or punish yourself for some transgression, you cannot seem to get past. See how forgiveness really would alleviate a lot of drama/trauma?
“So what is the solution, Monica?” 🙂 I’m so glad you asked. The solution is to first: Go inside that scary, place called: YOURSELF. And, engage in a dialogue with yourself and your spirit. The cool thing about our essence is– it listens, without criticism, or judgment. So feel free to yammer on until your energetically hoarse– yes, that does happen. Get it all out, until there’s nothing to get out. And, choose to forgive yourself for whatever you “think” you might have done– this is how you begin to heal. If this involves some early childhood trauma–you have to bring it to the now, acknowledge what happened, and yes… forgive the person–not for them, for you. If you need therapy to get there– go! You are worth it, life is worth it! Secondly, once you forgiven yourself (and, others), if it applies to you, own, apologize and ask for the forgiveness of those you may have hurt while you–yourself were in pain. Do NOT expect to be forgiven. That isn’t within your realm of power. Accept whatever happens and move on. The point is to free yourself from poisonous thinking, feeling and relationships. The next thing you have to do, is take each moment of your life to stay connected with your soul self, there’s many methods of doing this, find the one that works for you–excluding the following: smoking, popping, or drinking anything to “get” yourself there. Breathing is the highest high you can ever get– if more people consciously did it– they’d know. Finally, when you’ve become practiced at this new, and REAL way of living– you’ll notice your old “friendships” will begin unraveling and falling apart. Mind you, this can be emotional, but, not necessarily for the betterment of you. Painful friendships and relationships when ended are still missed in the beginning. But, as you become clearer as to who you are– you’ll realize it really is for the best. And, then… the magic happens (aka law of attraction)… you start meeting people who vibrate on the same level as yourself. People who are real, who offer themselves with honesty, respect and love. — People who bring blessing with each encounter. There’s no “trying” to befriend these people, there is “knowing” you’re already connected.
So… like I said… I have my circle of friends, it’s relatively small, probably under ten people. And, it’s very old–twenty-two years maximum. My thing is this: If I can’t be real around you–if you are frightened by real… If you cannot be real around me– if you hide behind facades— we can’t be friends. We can’t be anything but, humans hanging out on the same spinning rock in the infinite universe. That isn’t to say, we aren’t all expressions of the same I AM– we are, and I know that, but, that doesn’t mean everyone does.
So what about your friends? You’ll know who they are– if you know who you are, first.
Love Peace Happiness N One,
That really is a picture of my friends and I. 😉