Last night I went to bed at 2 am this morning… And, yes, I still went to work. Apparently, I needed to be awake so I could get my body, mind and spirit in alignment with one another.
So, do you know where your SunDeevah aka Star Bright aka Young Jedi* aka Storm was at 10:30pm last night? Well, I do. She was sitting in the lawn chair in the backyard, wearing her trusty black-hoody (like a good priestess should), and bundled up in her celestial blanky (I actually have two) gazing at the stars in the blue-black night. And, I was releasing people, situations and chaos into the ethers. It’s funny, my recent spiritual retreat and the new ways of being I discovered are really starting to take root.
Even though I am totally a warrior spirit, I just am not interested in fighting in the same manner any more. I’m interested in the attitudes of the peaceful warriors, the Yeshuas, the Buddhas, the Ghandis, the Marys, the Martins, the Lennons (uh, that would be John). Even though I love the Samurai, the Warriors, the Braves, the Soilders, the knights, the Vikings, the Barbarians, the Huns… I’m totally emersed in my desire to balance. So, those of you who’ve been here, expect the unexpected–still. Those of you who want to argue with me, fight with me, and persuade me in ways that are not only unhealthy, but, go against my very soul… Congratulations…YOU’VE WON, because I’m sooo out of your life!
Not many people know this about me, but, I have this trail of people in my wake that list me as one of their regrets in life. The truth about me: I’m always honest with you, I’ll always play fair, and I’ll always work for the good of all. I’m a bonafide cheerleader, I’m down for your best cause…always. I want to see those I love succeed in all fronts of their lives. And, most of the time, I want it more than they do. And, when I finally realize this–and in certain cases it’s taken years, but, when I get there I’m done. And, you know what??? I always end up being right in the end–there’s been real accounts and admittances of such. And, though it’s nice to get the apologies, and the wishes that they had chosen and behaved differently, I just wish that people would turn off their fragile ego’s and it’s loser sidekick pride long enough to listen to me, when I speak. I don’t want to be right in that manner!!! Hindsight isn’t your ally people! It’s there to remind you of how you lacked courage when you needed it most! But, alas, these choices arent mine, but theirs. As are the consequences.
We all have the same two roads in front of us, the easy road, and the hard road. And, you know what??? You will NEVER see me on the easy road. You’ll never hear talk of me surrounding myself with Yes-men and Yes-women! I don’t believe in living a predictable, uneventful life. I am not attracted to anyone that smells like chum, or weakness or fear. There’s a reason why the lion attacks the weakest gazelle in the jungle–it’s the easiest to catch and eat! There are people who are sooo afraid of doing something that takes work that they just miss out on all the important things, and no—your successful career ain’t that important, neither is your bank account balance, or your home, your shoes, or anything else that requires you to do what you’re already more than able to do. People forget, that relationships are THE most important experience you’re ever going to have here. Your family, your friends, your lover, your pets, garden, the planet…those things are the things you truly cannot live without.
So, yes, I contemplated all of these things under the stars last night, and once again, I reconfirmed my commitment to not settle for where I’ve been, but, to hunger and walk closer to where I want to go. And, any and all are welcomed to come with me… THE DOOR IS OPEN and there’s more than enough room on the path. But, understand this: I will not yield to anyone else’s ego, weakness, fear, or manipulation, no matter what disguise it wears. My power, will, and strength are my own, and it was well-earned. The best way to deal with a force to be reckoned with is simply to love it, understanding that you will never control it, nor even have the desire to.
Love Peace Happiness N One,
SunDeevah
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