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As I write this, I feel slightly blue, with a tinge of saddness for all those who just cannot–no, WILL NOT look in the mirror and see themselves. My heart weeps for you–truly. Even though, I know the pain you suffer from is self-inflicted, pain that at anytime, you could stop–pain, that is there to teach a lesson, and once learned be dismissed. And, yet… so many…too many are still standing on square one deluding themselves into believing they a much farther down the road than they truly are.
In this experience, this journey we call life, we are going to toil the soils of ourselves and reveal the roots of things that we’d rather not know. Yes, there are many things about myself over the years I had to face and state clearly to myself, “I don’t like that behavior, it cannot stay.” And, I know that because I’ve had those moments where I looked in the mirror, or the mirror was personified as a person reflecting myself back to me—I know, we’ve all had moments of reflection. And, we all are given the same opportunity to DO something about ourselves. If you don’t like that aspect of you, how do you think the rest of us feel?
The experience of reflection isn’t miraculous, in that it only happens to a few. In fact it’s the opposite. This experience is the norm. The miracle is when we as individuals look in the mirror at ourselves with the wounds and scars, and downright ugliness and say, “I know. You hurt. I hear you. I feel you. So, let’s figure this out together, so we can make it stop.” That’s the miracle! Why do I say that??? Because it isn’t the norm. What most people do when they see the truth of themselves–assuming they dare to look in the mirror, literally or figuratively, is start playing pretend. Pretend is a child’s game to broaden the imagination. But, as we continue to play it to ignore our problems with ourselves, pretend becomes out and out lying, unfortunately, that is the norm. Lying.
As with all lies, the more you repeat it, the more it sounds like truth to the liar. Which is why propoganda is such an awful weapon in politics. People allow themselves to become the victim of someone else’s game that they are playing with themselves. And, every moment of reflection is answered with the same game of pretend to the point of redundancy. Pretend becomes a lie, the lie has become a prison. Or, so we tell ourselves. Moments of reflection aren’t scarce. They happen frequently throughout the day, any given day, EVERY given day. So, it’s not like the opportunity to make the game, the pain, and the lie stop isn’t constantly offered to us. It is. But, then the stakes become higher the longer we play. And, some of us rise to the occassion, whie other’s of us begin the pretend game all over again. And, sadly, remain in square one.
I’m discussing this, because I’ve been watching way too many people I care about play this deceptive game with themselves. And, no, I am not one to remain silent. I’m a mirror. I’ll ask them to repeat whatever lie they might be using to maintain their game. Not for me, but, for them to hear with their own ears, own minds and hearts that it is they who are prepetuating the pain, not the rest of the world. Some choose to embrace the truth, some do not. And, that is why, I have no problem letting people leave my circle as easily as they came. I cannot pretend. And, before you ask–that isn’t what the actor does. Stanislavski says that it is the actors job to “Tell the truth under imaginary circumbstances.” So, no…we don’t pretend, we search and rehearse to bring forth the truth of a story.
I want to be clear with my message here. You cannot and will not ever, ever, EVER escape yourselves. That’s not what life is about. It’s not about pretending, or lying, or redundancies. It’s about growth. And, as long as we aren’t about growth, but, the stunting of it, we are creating more pain for ourselves. The parts of myself I didn’t like were clearly recognized as defense mechanisms to cover aspects that been hurt a long time ago. We can all relate to hurt, right? So why can we not admit to ourselves that yes, we can be hurt and wounded. And, that when anyone is hurt it is natural to make sure it doesn’t happen again. But, the only way to make sure that the wound doesn’t become aggravated isn’t to hold on to it, by making sure to put so much energy into it that it’s never allowed to heal. On the contrary, the way is to empathize with our reaction, to reassure ourselves that indeed, it really will be okay. And, to believe and have faith in ourselves that we really are stronger than any pain that may be inflicted upon us. And, once strength becomes your core as opposed to pain, then pain can become the teacher it always was and will be.
Ever wonder why people like to push themselves with extreme sports, or potentially violent ones? Marathons, boxing, martial arts, football, hockey on and on and on. We do these things to find out how strong we are. People are willing to suffer great physical pain in order to build the perfect body to accomplish what seems to be impossible goals, but, they do accomplish them. The reason is because they train their bodies to so. So, I ask  you, how is our physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual selves any different??? The answer: THEY’RE NOT.
 
Love Peace Happiness N One,
SunDeevah