So many come with good intentions, grandiose ideas of leaving a deep impact on the hearts, minds and psyches of the rest of us. “If I could get save just one I’ve done something!” Yet, attempt after attempt one mind-bomb after the next… the impact seems minimal…why? Why are words spoken loudly ignored, while others strain to hear faint whisphers? Why does a frown, a stare, and nashing teeth shut down the senses? And, smiles, winks and laughter get us open?
Good intentions unkept are useless to everyone it bothers. A good heart smothered by ill deeds starves to death, because it is never acknowledged, encouraged or appreciated. Needing to save the world, because you cannot save yourself is a mission sure to end in failure. And, I don’t believe  you guys anymore. I believe in you, because the potential is always there. But, your words, your writings, your rants, your songs, your signs of protest… it’s not real. You’re lying. You’re lying to me, to yourself, to everyone! And, while others may not call you out to be polite… I am. To hell with politeness, it’s an illusion anyway.
I’ve always been the type of person who believed that trust and respect are things earned, not given. And, that things like honor and integrity are things you either have or you don’t. It’s not like your favorite pair of jeans that you wear at your convenience, or to impress whomever may be around to see how they make your ass look. Honor, integrity and the art of earning respect, those things are grown in the greenhouse within, not the garden outside.  And, despite all the propoganda of the entire world, in every book, by every well-renowned author, great thinker, philosopher or whomever… You cannot save, change, or impact the world in any shape or form without first doing so with yourself.
I’m tired of people lying to themselves, the world, to me! I’m tired of  people saying we aren’t capable of being better tomorrow than we are today. I’m tired of people throwing in the towel because its too hard, when the truth is they are too weak. And, those same people are the ones who complain the most about every aspect of the world, a world that they themselves not only live in, but, helped create and continue to perpetuate! You are all liars! There, I said it!
There are soo many people out there walking their talk, and they get no love, no respect, and far too little help! There are those who “get it”,  and are the first to be stoned with accusations of being “crazy”, “weird”, “strange”, or, “intense”, “scary” and “dangerous”!  Because not only do these people talk about change, they actually enforce it upon themselves before attempting to take it to the masses. It’s quite simple, if you want to preach to me about changing the world, while you–yourself are stuck in your own bullshit,  then, you look like an idiot, a fraud, a liar. Why should I listen to you? Exactly… I’m not listening to you!
I’m coming into myself more and more as I grow older. I am going to be the kind of woman who speaks her mind in a way most people wait until their 80 to do. I’ve come to realize that it’s very difficult for anyone to be in my presence for an extended period of time, and not think differently after we part. I disturb people in a way, that I’ve only recently understood. I love demanding that peolple think, and if you’re not down with thinking…don’t bother talking to me. I don’t fly on automatic pilot, I do not respect people who rest on their laurels, and I have a zero tolerance policy for people who complain and do nothing. I’m done with you liars of the world… I’m done…stay away from me! Or, haven’t you heard… I’m scary and possibly dangerous! Weapon of choice? Truth. Can you handle it?!
Love Peace Happiness N One,
SunDeevah

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