It’s like that smell in the air that just won’t go away, and it follows me everywhere. I wish you would leave, or stay…whatever, just make up your mind!
I don’t understand why people play games with their lives, their time, their souls, as if they could just grow another at any moment they’d like. As if there’s no consequences for actions, as if I have time for any of this ridiculous crap! Why can’t people be born with intestinal fortitude? Why can’t adults really be adults, rather than children with an extreme case of physical puberty?! And, if none of this can be accomplished, why can’t they just stay away from me? My tolerance for mediocrity is at an all-time low today.
I’m being bothered with an issue, with a person who just won’t freaking go away. Even when they aren’t here, they are! And, quickly, they are approaching my last nerve–anyone know an excorcist? A medicine man/woman? The thing is,  Count Vlad has a thing for me, and um…despite his enormously empty/fragile ego, he won’t go back to his castle and stay there! Despite the fact that their are other women (girls posing as women) more willing, more desperate, more stupid than I on my lowest day–he still wonders about me, and doesn’t think I know! Yo, Dracula, dude, I can hear you! Just in case you read this–know that I can hear you!
*****Not a subject change, but, related. Hang on…you’ll see*******
What’s the deal with people not owning up to their actions? How can you light a house fire, watch the building go up in smoke and then be mad when you’re caught holding the match? Ugh… If you lit it, you’re responsible, deal with the consequences accordingly! We’ve all had it tough in some aspect of our lives, but, exactly when is it a good time to be a grown up and realize, that you’ve got to change, and be about that?! I’m really tired of everyone telling me what they know they should do, rather than doing it. Do me a favor…shut up! That way, none of us have to get excited and  you don’t have to be a liar. See? No harm, no foul.
Of course, I could pretend that this isn’t bothering me, but, it is! I don’t do well, lying to myself, nor others. I don’t drink, do drugs, or, use sex as a destraction, nor any other vice, to help me lie to myself. I prefer to just resolve and heal. And, Vlad…dude…you’re so like inches away from my last nerve. I’ve held off the firing squad that you so wrecklessly, and unnecessarily pissed off… Why? Because, at some point, you’ve got to deal with me. And, the firing squad–that would have been merciful. Not sure, I have much of that left for you!
Who the hell is Count Vlad anyway? Oh…never you mind. I’m hoping he’ll either be a good vampire and behave well, or just become ashes blowing in the breeze away from me!  Either way…somethings gotta give. Anyone know how old the story of Dracula is? Hmm… seems like forever over here. And, I personally need to turn the freaking page!
You know, I’ve been good beyond good, patient beyond patient, loving beyond  any capacity I ever knew I had. And, yet, it has been trampled upon, disrespected and taken for granted. Who here wants to be on the other side of me knowing you’ve done all that? Well, someone suicidal, of course! Hahaha! Vlad, do you want me to sharpen a stake for you, is that it? Shall I allow my peeps to shine light upon your darkest secrets?! Nah… I won’t. I’ll let you do it. If you’re into pain, which I know you are… I know you have it covered.
In the meantime, I’ve gotta figure out how to get that smell out of the air. I don’t like things lingering about me, if I wanted to be haunted, I have enough dead relatives to keep me occupied for the rest of my life. I don’t need to be haunted by the living pretending they are dying! Be here, or be elsewhere, you cannot and will not have both!
Love Peace Happiness N One,
SunDeevah

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